delivered

77

this is going to be so fucking shitty get ready

"oh my god, oh my god, oh my god," adrian is chanting the phrase constantly, his gaze fixed on phil's shaky hand trying to pipe something strangely incomprehensible onto the circular sponge of cake, adrian's voice laced with nervousness and excitement both as his father squeezes out another pump of icing.

phil's face is pulled into concentration, the tip of his tongue poking out of his mouth slightly and his eyebrows furrowed. he glances towards adrian for a moment, pausing his work at hand and looking at the way adrian was staring at the unevenly iced cake, his little forehead crinkled in concentration as he leant on the marble counter.

phil only smiled at him momentarily before taking advantage of adrian's distraction and wiping a small amount of frosting on his cheek.

phil's little smile broke into a grin once adrian scowled at him and attempted to wipe the mess, but hesitated as he took into consideration that he was wearing his favourite christmas jumper. he scowled once again, tilting his head at an awkward angle to meet phil's eyes as he was a lot shorter, and leaned his cheek against phil, discretely wiping off the small dab of icing onto phil's shirt.

"you're so immature," adrian muttered, dragging the back of his hand against his cheek to wipe off any remainders, while phil pouted at his ruined shirt.

"look who's talking," phil rolled his eyes, continuing his action of frosting the cake.

the house was just as haywire as phil's mind, cluttered tables, disoriented shelves and messy countertops could be easily compared to the functioning of phil's brain. thoughts were loud and unclear, a failing war against his heart and mind as he convinced himself that everything will be okay, and was hoping to convince dan of how he was trying to make everything okay.

the concept was a shot in the dark because on one hand phil had lost a lot of patience, intolerance being one of the weakest points in his personality-and on the other dan is totally unpredictable and once his emotions get to him he makes irrational decisions, no matter how badly he will regret them later.

one of the factors contributing to their relationship years ago was the fact that they had so much in common with each other, and today as phil's eyes focus at a bland point on one of the kitchen tiles, his heart breaks at the realisation of how different they actually are.

similarities, phil had now learnt, did not reside in the choice of songs and the favourite actors and the video games. it had been lying in who they were individually, and it seemed like both of them had failed to see how simply unfit they were for each other.

phil was a calm person, an introvert, definitely a person who took relationships too seriously and was afraid to socialise. he was messy, sometimes very disorganised, and he hated change. he liked the familiarity of his bed, he liked the same flavour of cereal every morning, he liked his hair in a certain way, he liked his coffee with a small spoonful of milk and his list could go on for as long as possible.

dan was a short-tempered person, he was confident without actually realising it and he was the kind of person who got over friendships with not much difficulty. he loved to socialise, although he would never admit it, and phil knew that dan loved meeting new people and knowing about them. he was organised, he hated clutter, and he liked to explore things. he would get bored with the same breakfast every morning, he would like his coffee a different way everytime and he hated to re-watch a movie he's seen more than two times.

they were two pages of contradictory novels, pretending to be a part of the same paragraph and phil wasn't surprised that their relationship had been failing apart for the past couple years. they are spending their lives together right now just because they were too young and too irrational and too in love.

without knowing, phil had lost all his built up hope for making things better-the mere realisation of how toxic and misfit and unjustified their relationship was, lead phil into believing that there was no point in trying.

they are one crack away from everything finally shattering, hurting both themselves and their son adrian, who has already experienced a lot of negligence from his previous parents and the orphanage.

there is guilt, confusion, sadness and a little hint of relief bubbling in phil's chest. finally he has something solid to blame for their downhill going relationship rather than himself, and the fact is almost too petty.

he doesn't know when he had dropped the piping bag on the granite counter and had managed to scrape the top of the cake with the tip of his pipe. he blinked quickly once he realised what a mess he had made and as if on cue, a shrill buzz of the doorbell cuts through the peaceful silence, adrian perking up from where he was standing and rearranging the christmas decorations.

"i'll get it!" adrian squeals excitedly, dashing towards the door in a haste and phil hears him unlocking the door and the annoying squeak of the door hinge, followed by a thud and a tiny scream.

"papa!"

--
god this was shitty wtf x2

aLso PHIL HIT 4 MIL WHAT THE FUCK IM SO HAPPY AND PROUD AND