Memories |n.h | au

Chapter 30

Today is the day.

To say I was nervous was a complete understatement. My anxiety was going through the roof an I had no way of calming my self down. I was next ,after Dylan, that had to perform my song in front of the whole class. Mr. Jones randomly picked out four names from a jar and he pulled out Jamie's name -another girl that was in this class- Dylan, Niall's and mine. I took deep breaths to try and relax but I just couldn't. Jamie went first since her name was pulled out first. She sang and played 'My version' by Conor Maynard. Which was a smart idea since it's a two minute song she didn't have to stay up there for long.

"No, I won't let you go,
Now you know,
I've been crazy for you all this time.
I've kept it close
Always hoping
With a heart on fire,
A heart on fire.
With a heart on fire,
A heart on fire.

A heart on fire." Dylan finished.

His song was amazing to the say least I loved it. He had told me before hand that it was self-written. He also had an amazing voice, which I did not know.

"Great job Dylan." My guitar teacher smiled. "Lucy?" He called out making me look up from my guitar. He smiled letting me know it was my go. I took one last deep breath and picked my guitar up and made my way towards the front. "Good luck" Dylan whispered as we passed each other. I took a seat where Dylan was previously sitting and looked up at the class. My eyes locked with Niall's and he shot me a big smile and gave me two thumbs up. A smiled and looked over at my guitar teacher.

"This is a self written song and I'll be singing myself " I told him "The name of the song is Love You Goodbye." I informed him before getting started. I strummed my guitar a couple of times before I started to sing.

"It's inevitable everything that's good comes to an end
It's impossible to know if after this we can still be friends, yeah" I sang. I didn't make eye contact with anyone in the class. I just focused my attention on the back wall.

"I know you're saying you don't wanna hurt me
Well, maybe you should show a little mercy
The way you look I know you didn't come to apologize

Hey, hey, hey
Oh, why you wearing that to walk out of my life?
Hey, hey, hey
Oh, even though it's over you should stay tonight
Hey, hey, hey
If tomorrow you won't be mine
Won't you give it to me one last time?" I continued singing.

I thought back to the night I wrote this song. It was the night Niall told me he was leaving. I needed a way to let all my emotions out and I did the best way that could by writing.

"Oh, baby, let me love you goodbye

Unforgettable together, held the whole world in our hands
Unexplainable, a love that only we could understand, yeah

I know there's nothing I can do to change it
But is it something that can be negotiated?
My heart's already breaking, baby, go on, twist the knife

Hey, hey, hey
Oh, why you wearing that to walk out of my life?
Hey, hey, hey
Oh, even though it's over you should stay tonight
Hey, hey, hey
If tomorrow you won't be mine
Won't you give it to me one last time?"

I remember writing with tears in my eyes long after he had left. I tried to say everything I could to make him stay but there was nothing I could do to change his mind. I remember asking him to at least stay with me one more night but he refused. Saying it would only hurt us more and it would make it harder for him to leave.

"Oh, baby, let me love you goodbye
Oh, baby, let me love you goodbye

One more taste of your lips just to bring me back
To the places we've been and the nights we've had
Because if this is it then at least we could end it right"

After I tried to convince him not to leave I asked him for one last kiss. He refused that too. I only wanted one proper goodbye but he just couldn't give me that. I wanted something that would make me remember all the good times we had and would make me forget that very moment.

"Oh, why you wearing that to walk out of my life?
Hey, hey, hey
Oh, even though it's over you should stay the night, yeah
Hey, hey, hey
If tomorrow you won't be mine
Won't you give it to me one last time?"

Every time I wrote down the line "why you wearing that to walk out of my life" I would let out a small chuckle through my sobs. He was wearing my favorite jumper to see on him and a pair or black jeans. He was aware that was my favorite outfit to see on him yet he still wore it the day he walked out of my life

"Oh, baby, let me love you goodbye

Oh, baby, let me love you goodbye"

We never said 'I love you' to each other because we weren't in a rush. We felt like we had all the time in the world left to be together. But boy were we wrong. I did think about the fact of me being in love with him before but I wasn't sure. It wasn't until that night that I was positive that I did love him. I was in love with the guy that had just decided to leave me without any type of explanation.

" Oh, baby, let me love you goodbye." I finished, my voice cracking a little at the end. I tried not to get my emotions get the best of me but all the memories flooding back didn't quite help. I was nervous to looks up because I felt like I didn't do a good enough job but I couldn't keep my head down forever. I looked up to see Dylan doing a silent clap. I looked over at Niall and instantly regretted it.

He had a sad expression across his face. It was obvious then he knew the song was about him. He was the only other person that knew that I enjoyed writing songs. Or that it was typical of me to do so when I was sad or angry. It was a way for me to let it all out. Although it hurt me to see him with a sad expression I couldn't do anything about it. He deserved to know how I felt when he told me he was leaving. That night he barely let me talk. He said what he had to say and walked away from us. I followed behind him trying to convince him to stay but nothing worked.

" Lucy, Amazing job. Well done." Mr. Jones complimented snapping me out of my thoughts. I smiled at him and walked back to my seat.

"Niall your up." Mr. Jones spoke.

I've been planning this chapter since Made in the A.M came out. I can no longer download gifs onto my phone because I got a new one and I can't find the app I had before. So if you guys know of any apps to download gifs please let me know i would greatly appreciate it. :)

Thanks for reading!