The Actor Madness: Rise [COMPLETED]

Chapter X (Thoughts)

California, June 8th 2017

It's been a month since me and Roderick really start do date.

I'm so happy of my decision.

People say that nobody should stop you for pursuing your dreams.

I don't think they're right at all because some dreams aren't that worthy to be pursued.

And if you don't get that dream you still got someone.

People don't know how to love anymore.

I will sound really old fashioned but maybe this never has been old fashioned.

But to love it means to sacrifice ourselves for another person.

To spend time with somebody, eventually quit your career or your dream.

Love comes from sacrifice. Well, true love does.

To love somebody just by their appearence or personality or title is to love superficially.

You're not truly loving somebody if that's your requirements.

I stopped taking Kabbalah lessons.

Well they cut me off of the course because I wasn't attending neither paying.

But from the little that I learned, now I can move on with a positive perspective.

Now I only need one thing only. A job.

I sat down with my therapist and I told him what I was able to do and what I wanted to do.

He gave me quite great job ideas but they didn't appeal to me.

Theatre is the thing that makes me whole but makes me nothing at the same time.

I love everything about it. The tech week, the rehearseals, the dress rehearsals, the sets and how to make them.

The props and how they're made too.

The makeup characterization. And most importantly, the acting.

Everything about it is really great and so so fun and interesting.

Theatre people are too underrated. They aren't given the credit they deserve.

People think theatre is child's play. That everyone can do it.

Well I guess everyone can do it.

But then I would question. Is everyone able to do it well?!

This doesn't mean I want to go back to theatre... for now.

But I think I know what I should be my job. A dramaturg/director.

Is it needed a degree for it?! Then I'll study for it.

But I don't want to involve myself too much in it. I still want a free time with Roderick.

And more importantly, with myself.

We need to be alone sometimes. It's not sad nor bad.

It's quite good for you actually. You have to learn about you.

How do you function?! How intense are your feelings?!

You have to learn to love yourself.

Not for that bullshit that if you can't love yourself you can't love nobody else.

Yes you can. Why can't I learn to love myself while loving somebody else?!

It's a journey. A love journey. Self discovery and relationship time. It's not bad to do that.

The possibility of what we can do is imposed by ourselves.

You'll never know how much and what much you can do until you start to believe you can.

Just by trying, you're already in the path of achieving what you need.

Because what you need is more important of what you want.