The darkness warms me
I don't have a hug waiting for me on the other side
Or comforting words ready to envelop me
I only have me
And this small space
With everything I know
I don't feel alone here
And I don't feel like I'm someone else
Because on the other side no one understands
Or I care too much to hurt them with my truth
Do I stay here because I feel safe here
Or do I feel safe here because I'm a monster
I have so much doubt
But should I be doubting their words or mine?
Is it me against the world
Or is the world against me?
Do I love them too much
Or do I just not want to hurt them?
They only knock when they need something
And I come out when they do
I catch them when they fall
Because I'm the only one who will
My closet has carpet
Not quicksand
I want it to swallow me whole sometimes
But I'm scared that I'll pull them down with me
Where is that other world that media promises?
The lands of pirates, magic, daydreams?
Where is a safety net
When I need it most?
What do I look like when I come out of my closet?
Scary, exhausted, sad?
If I only had one word...
To grab me before I fall in too deep...
"Stay"
...And I could grow wings the size of the world
Grow your wings and know there might not be someone there to catch you, but someone who understands you all the more. So let us be hand-in-hand and practice flying- for the day when our wings can catch the world when it falls.
-Autumn
YOU ARE READING
my heart...
PuisiDo you like anyone? Are you like me? Am I alone? Or do I just have my own sea to swim in...? *btw these are all original by me. So no using my work please (unless I give you permission).
