Complicated

Chapter Twenty Three: Screw Ups

Wanted and adored by attractive women
Bountiful selection at your discretion
I know I'm diving into my own destruction

No Doubt - Bathwater

The bar was crowded with people that Don didn't know and had no inclination of getting to. It was a cop bar, out of place with his usual haunts which was just the way he liked it. There was no one he knew here to see how far Don Flack Jnr was falling and that's what he had counted on.

It had been a month since Grace had been shot and the events still tore a hole through his chest when he thought about them hence why he had begun to spend more time here at this anonymous bar.

It had started with a couple of drinks to steady his nerves after the Kade case before he'd dropped by the hospital that night and then it became a shot of bourbon or two to take the edge off the dreams he was having, the nights he was sending alone and awake thinking of what could have happened and of what he had done.

He shouldn't blame Grace for giving back the ring, in fact he was relieved that she had told him that the two of them weren't ready yet. He hadn't appreciated her choice words about his reckless attitude as of late. They hadn't spoken since he'd lost his temper and told her to go to hell.

He couldn't bring himself to try and connect with her again, the hurt was too raw, the fear was too great. He had lost a piece of himself when she had been shot. The piece that had the ability to reach out and love somebody else. He was cutting himself off gradually, he could feel it happening and it was impossible to stop. Killing Kade had damaged a part of himself he hadn't realized was vulnerable and now it was infected with a darkness he had always managed to avoid in the past through sheer force of will.

Flack wasn't in control any more and that frightened him, he was always a man with a firm grip of himself. Every action was calculated and responsive to the situations he faced day in and day out. He had already lashed out at the person he loved and with such dire consequences. The words he had said made him feel nauseous when he thought about them and the expression on her face as she pressed her hand to her stomach had torn a hole in his heart so deep he'd been bleeding out into his Jack Daniel's until he'd hit oblivion.

The drinking helped. It filled him up with such a numbness that he didn't care about any of the pressure that was bearing down upon his shoulders. He didn't give a shit that he'd killed Kade, or acknowledge the fact everyday that he let pass by without checking in on Grace was another day that she was slipping away from him. The truth was that taking another life was the worst sin anyone could commit in front of God, and Flack couldn't quite see how God was supposed to forgive him for murdering someone else in cold blood.

Flack had lost count of the tumblers of whiskey he had downed in the past two hours. All he could feel was the blissful warmth of the liquid filling him up deep inside as he chased down his last drink with a bottle of Bud. His brain was so wonderfully vacant, there was nothing he had to think about, no feelings to jam him up. Instead there was just this selfish emptiness and Flack found that he liked it. He didn't have any responsibilities to worry about. It was just him sitting here getting drunk.

There was a blond talking to him, she was perched on the edge of the bar stool next to him. His eyes roved over her delectable body. She was clad in a denim mini skirt that showed off long, tanned, shapely legs and red fuck me heels. The toe of her shoe was caressing the curve of his calf through his jeans and climbing suggestively higher.

The bright red blouse hugged her curvaceous frame, the top three buttons were undone giving him a view of her generous expanse of cleavage and a peek of a crimson lace bra. She tossed her head, caramel blond hair spreading down her back as she laughed throatily at the line he was spinning her. Flack didn't know her name. Hell, he didn't want to know her name. His intention involved strictly no talking between them at all once they got out of the bar. She was easy, minimal effort required. He needed that. No strings, no complications, just something to get lost in for the night. She was everything that Grace Sullivan wasn't and he needed her to be the one to make him forget that Grace had ever even existed.