Complicated

Chapter Sixty Five: Life Is Beautiful

When you run into my arms

We steal a perfect moment

Let the monsters see you smile

Let them see you smiling

Vega 4 – Life is Beautiful

There was blood on his hands again, it was thick and free flowing through his fingers as he lay there shuddering and twitching alone in the darkness. It was coming from the rivets of flesh torn open in his chest. He could feel the warmth of his life slipping out as he took each ragged echoing pant. He couldn't breath past the fiery ripples of pain tearing in his chest. There was a harsh whisper scurrying closer from the edges of the darkness. He could hear the prickling of a thousand eyes upon him as he grunted and gasped into empty air surrounding him.

He wasn't alone and the possibilities made his skin crawl. He was scared, God he was ridiculously scared right now. It hurt to breath and his hands were trying to stifle the bleeding trickling along the lines of his ribcage.

A flash of silver darted across his vision out of nowhere causing him to jerk and twist in horror. He spat out a cry of pain, flinching underneath the presence hunched over him. He closed his eyes against the harshness of the florescent life swaying above him. He didn't want to see the face bearing down above him. That manic smile frightened him, Don would never admit that out loud. He would never give the satisfaction.

It was the laughter that made his heart palpitate against his ribs, that deep, rich husky cackle he had come to know almost intimately.

"You'll never leave here."

"I'm already gone." Don heard himself whisper before the whole world disappeared.

The bedroom was pitch black when he wretched awake from his nightmare, heart pounding in his chest. His breathing was coming out in loud, short breaths as he lay on his back trying to chase away the abstract memories that rattled through his mind. He forced his lungs to take in deep, calming breaths, allowing his heart rate to falter as he grappled with control.

Maplin's dead, he reminded himself. He can't hurt you any more.

The nightmares now were less consistent but they were still as real as ever. Sometimes Don relived what had happened to him and others were fragmented figments of his imagination still trying to process it all. He was winning, he thought, slowly but surely he was restoring the elements of his life and each and everyday wasn't such a struggle any more. He had started to think of them as blessings instead.

Beside him Grace grumbled something incoherent in her sleep bringing back a more solid sense of place. Don rolled onto his side, his firm arm wrapping around his wife's sleeping form and drawing her closer. He buried his face into her silky hair inhaling her sweet floral scent through his nose, feeling the tightness in his chest unclench just a little bit.

Each breath he took was a step closer to him regaining control and he treasured that Grace had that influence over him. His hand smoothed across her hip skirting underneath the filmy, lavender nightdress before coming to rest upon her swollen stomach.

Don tucked his knees behind Grace's as he spooned her even closer, peppering kisses upon the scars that were dotted across her naked shoulder. Something thudded lightly against his palm underneath Grace's ample flesh and Don found himself chuckling against the nape of his wife's neck as he followed the movements slowly.

"Hello baby." he whispered.

It never failed to surprise him how completely awestruck he became when their baby decided to make contact. He could feel the tiny piece of himself inside Grace trying to get comfortable and smiled into her soft skin.

"Hm. She's kicking again." Grace murmured, her voice still thick from sleep.

She shifted onto her back, tilting her head until her cheek came to rest on the pillow. Her grey gaze ensnared him as his palm roamed across her belly, fingertips tickling the places where the baby shifted and poked.

"You ok?" Grace mumbled, the back of her hand rubbing across her eyes to clear away the ebbs of sleepiness.

"Yea." he told her, pressing a lingering kiss to his wife's lips. "I'm fine."

It was the first time after such a nightmare that he had said those words and meant them. The apprehension in his chest had evaporated almost instantly when he had tucked himself against Grace's pregnant body. Her and the baby were his salvation, the world was a much better place with the two of them in it.

"Nervous about tomorrow?" she asked him, more alert now than before.

Don shook his head in response to her question. He would be lying if he didn't admit to feeling some trepidation in regards to returning to work. Despite the fact his psyche eval had cleared him for duty he still had his own reservations about being in the field.

Thankfully Angell was riding all of his cases with him for the first couple of months so he was relieved to have someone he trusted watching his back. He just hoped he could provide Angell with the same type of security. He couldn't bring himself to fully think about that it was too much pressure to try and consider. He wouldn't know whether to trust his instincts or not until the occasion arrived.

"It's been five months and I can almost run the same distance and speed as I did before what happened. The doctor has cleared me and I'm in better shape now than I was when I graduated the academy, the department physical should be a cake walk." he assured her, his gaze lowering to her stomach in distraction.

Grace understood that he didn't want to talk abut the real elephant in the room and she had learned over the past two months not to push him. She watched as the sides of his mouth twitched as their child nudged against his hand again in a way that was almost exploratory.

"I think she takes after you." Don told Grace knowingly. "Always curious and wanting to learn more. I think she's trying to work out what my hand is."

Grace smiled as her eyes began to flutter closed again. Seven months pregnant and she was already larger than she could ever have imagined. She knew people who had worn their baby bump as if it was a compact accessory, unfortunately she was not one of them. It did nothing to aid her sleeping pattern. It took a long time to get comfortable again once Don had replaced the body pillow she'd become accosted to snuggling up to while he was away. That said, she would rather wake up in he husband's secure, strong arms any day of the week.

"I think she's sleeping now." Grace uttered at the absence of the baby's movements.

Don gave one final caress across her stomach as if waving goodbye as he whispered.

"Good night Jenny."