Complicated

Chapter Seventy Five: Moving On

I've dealt with my ghosts and I've faced all my demons
Finally content with a past I regret
I've found you find strength in your moments of weakness
For once I'm at peace with myself

Rascal Flatts – I'm Moving On

It was eight thirty in the morning and Don was sitting in the Wakefield Diner across from the courthouse in one of the corner booths sipping from a mug of coffee as he awaited his order of pancakes and bacon. Wakefield Diner had replaced the Tilbrey Diner after the whole ordeal with Connor Dunbrook, the place had had an overhaul on the insurance money from the event. He knew that people still questioned why he came here, this was the place his wife had been shot and he had cradled her in his arms as they tried to stabilise her.

The reason Don came here was the challenge. Being here, in this place without a shred of anxiety was cathartic to him, it was another step on his road to recovery. He was stripping away each layer of fear and oppression. Ever since Jenny had arrived in his life, he had found himself living to his full potential. He couldn't afford to be gripped by the terror that had once plagued his footsteps, his baby, he was sure would pick up on that agitation. He had read somewhere that babies were sensitive to their parents emotions and Don found himself wanting to counteract any negativeness he may be sending Jenny's way. Her view on the world shouldn't be tainted by his own, he was determined that she would grow up happy and content forging her own path.

The familiar bell jingled as the door to the diner opened once more. He found himself looking up as Mac Taylor entered. Don waved his hand in greeting as the other man held up a finger to indicate that he had seen his friend before speaking to the waitress.

Friend, it was how Don had come to see the other man over the years. There were other words he associated with Mac Taylor, mentor, strong, hard ass, all of them were traits that Don admired. He was glad that the other man was there watching over them all.

"You know some people would find the fact we're meeting here somewhat morbid." Mac said as he lowered himself down into the seat across from Don.

"Other people would assume it's an act of defiance on my part. It's a building right?" Don stated with a shrug of his shoulders. "I ain't scared of no building."

Mac chuckled at the courage that the other man was exhibiting, Don had been taking baby steps over the past year. He was nowhere near the same person he used to be but that was to be expected. People changed all of the time and Mac liked this version of Don Flack, there was more depth to him. During the depression Mac had wondered if he would ever see the other man smile again, now he was witnessing that child like grin once more as the waitress set down his stack of pancakes and Mac's coffee.

"How's Grace and Jenny? I heard from Jo that she's just started sleeping through the night, that must be a weight off your shoulders." Mac said as taking in to account the lack of exhaustion in the other man's features.

"She wakes up a few times for a feed but it's nothing like it used to be." Don confided withdrawing his wallet and holding it open before Mac took it from his hands.

The picture in there made Mac break into a smile as he studied it. It was a picture of Jenny and Grace together on the sofa, the baby's face was like looking at a ball of sunshine as she grinned at the camera, waving her tiny fists. Her back was nestled against Grace's chest as her mother pointed at the camera, her lips brushing the side of Jenny's dark head of fine hair.

"It's my favourite." Don informed the other man, taking a bite out of his pancakes.

"They look happy." Mac said as he closed the wallet and slid it back towards Don. "You look happy."

"They are." Don responded, taking a sip from his coffee cup before correcting himself. "We are."

"So why'd you call me down here? Don't tell me it's because they make amazing pancakes." Mac stated gesturing towards Don's plate.

"That's one way to put it." Don said, picking up his napkin and wiping at his mouth before fixing Mac with his vibrant blue gaze. "Is your friend's house still on the market?"

Mac's eyebrows creased as he reviewed the other man over his coffee cup.

"Yes it is." Mac told him curiously. "Are the two of you thinking about moving?"

Don pushed his plate away, his gaze straying to the courthouse on the opposite side of the glass. He had spent his life in New York City, running up and down those steps on the side of the prosecution and a few times on the defence. He was wondering whether this was worth it. It had been said for every year a person was a cop their lives were cut short by two. Don had been on the force fifteen years. He could never imagine doing anything else but maybe doing it somewhere else was the key to his conundrum. Too many times lately he had found himself contemplating the ordeals he had endured over the years due to his job. He wanted to be around for his daughter's birthdays and Christmas's, he wanted to grow old with his wife, maybe have a couple more kids.

"Nassau County has a position available in their Homicide Squad." Don found himself telling Mac as he toyed with the silver wedding band on his finger. "It's just outside of the city, it has an excellent property market, good schools..."

"That sounds like it's already a done deal." Mac said leaning back in his seat as he studied the younger man.

Don wrapped his hands around his coffee cup as a small smile crossed his lips.

"I haven't spoken to Grace yet, she's had a lot on her mind going back to work and this job offer she's had from the university." Don mentioned, rubbing the back of his head.

"We've had a discussion or two about that. It's a good job, a safe one." Mac said knowingly. "The hours will be good for Jenny, she'll be home more regularly."

"It's hard for her, she's been in the field for so long taking a back seat makes her feel out of her depth." Don explained. "Our lives are constantly changing and I think she feels like she's not sure if she'd doing this for her or of she'd doing this for Jenny."

"If there's one thing I've learned over the years." Mac said leaning forward on his elbows as he met the younger man's gaze. "It's you've got to do what's right for you at the time. The two of you are parents now, your priorities have changed."

Don rubbed his hand across his stubble before speaking honestly.

"What really changed the game for me was last week." he confided. "I kissed my wife and daughter goodbye in the morning and then got shot at by El Puno. I swear Mac, the moments after that I gotta wonder if it's time to step into something or somewhere a lot less dangerous. I was lucky that time, so God damned lucky."

"There's no shame in wanting to be there to watch your daughter grow up and I think you of all people deserve to have some peace." Mac murmured as he tapped his coffee cup indicating for a refill to the waitress.

"Peace?" Don chuckled into the recesses of his own coffee cup. "I'm not sure I know the meaning of the word any more."

Mac let his lips twitch with the beginning of a budding smile as he spoke.

"Maybe it's time to learn."