Complicated

Chapter Fifty Two: Where You Are

I won't stop chasing after you
It doesn't matter how far
Cause everything that I need is everything you are

Lifehouse – Just To Be Where You Are

Grace had fought for this right to attend this crime scene. She had begged, bullied and finally threatened Mac until he relented. Yet now looking at it Grace wished she had never come here. She wasn't responding like a cop did, she could feel the control slipping from her hands as she wrapped her arms around her body feeling her throat constricting. She was cold, she hadn't felt this way for such a long time.

Four years, she thought. She remembered the sickness that twisted up in her stomach at the knowledge that Don had been trapped amongst the rubble of a torn down building. The feeling of helplessness that dogged her steps in those days was back again lurking just over her shoulder. It was the not knowing that killed her. Was he dead or alive? Was he hurt?

Please be ok. She prayed, pressing her hands together as she rolled her eyes upwards to the sky.

Grace believed in God, she believed in things happening for a reason but Grace couldn't understand why this had happened to them. The two of them had been through enough already, they were meant to be happy and now it was starting to come apart. She didn't know what she would do without Don.

Her fingers toyed with the silver St Michael sovereign around her neck. If there was ever a time for St Michael to come through it was now. Protect him please.

She felt Mac's gaze upon her as she leaned back against the Crime Scene SUV rubbing a hand over her exhausted features. She couldn't allow herself to fall apart, she couldn't afford to in the face of this adversity. She had told Mac that she was ready to be here. She had fought for this.

"Jesus Mac, he's my husband! You can't just expect me to stand here and wait for you to come back with news. I need to be there." Grace snapped, her hands on her hips as she stood in front of her boss, fire in her eyes.

"You need to be here in case someone calls." Mac told her calmly.

"If this was a kidnapping they would have called by now." Grace recounted, raking her hands through her dark hair. "People abduct cops for two reasons, to get revenge or to get information, now I need to know which one that is so I can figure out how to get Don back."

"We'll get Don back, right now I need you to stay here. I can't have you processing that crime scene." Mac informed her, his arms crossing over his chest as he fixed her with a stern expression.

"Don't do this Mac." Grace warned, shaking her head. "Don't block me out because you know I will tear this city apart looking for him with or without your help and I don't give a damn if I have to do it illegally. I am giving you the option here, keep me close to hand or risk me taking my gun out on those streets and shaking down any god damn contact I can find. What would Don want you to do?"

Her chest was heaving as she stood before him, her fists clenched and her eyes deadly serious. She wasn't in the habit of threatening people, especially not someone with as much power as Mac but it was driving her crazy pacing up the glass halls of this crime lab. She needed to be active, she needed to see the scene and make her own assumptions.

This could just be something ridiculous, he could have just ran out of gas and left the Escapade unattended. Maybe some uniform had blown this all out of proportion and Don would come back laughing at all the fuss that had been caused because he'd left the car unattended.

Even as she thought it, Grace knew there wasn't a chance in hell that was a realistic possibility. Don didn't leave his cellphone unattended. He wouldn't be ignoring her calls. He always made sure there was enough gas because he hated the idea of her being stranded somewhere because she usually forgot to fill up the tank.

"I won't touch anything." she promised, bowing her head as she wrung her hands anxiously. "I just need feel like I'm doing something. If I see the scene maybe I can help."

"Stick to Danny like glue, I want you in my sight at all times. Do you hear me?" Mac relented, jabbing his finger at her.

Grace nodded frantically as she held up her hands in surrender before speaking.

"Loud and clear."

Watching their private property get searched was horrifying. Grace had been through this once before when Will had attacked her and it was beyond intrusive to have your friends routing through the aspects of your personal life. Grace dreaded the moment they shined the ASL in the back seat of the car and found the evidence of yesterday's coupling. It was humiliating but Grace knew it was a necessary evil. She would let them see whatever they wanted if it brought Don back to her safe and sound.

Sheldon and Stella had arrived seconds after they had. Grace was thankful that the whole entire team was being brought in on this. She knew they all cared about Don in their own way and she was grateful for the show of support. Grace watched as Stella set down the yellow numerical marker beside something on the ground. Grace used the back of her hand to rub across her lips as she realized what it was.

A police issue Taser.

Grace swallowed hard against the lump in her throat as Stella placed a second marker beside the Taser. It drew Grace's attention to a small, dark pool of liquid seeping into the gritty concrete. She knew what it was without having to take a step any closer.

Blood, she thought, suddenly feeling light headed . Don's blood.

She heard Sheldon's cry go up through the air from inside of the car as he held up something glittering and gold. Grace felt her stomach lurch as her fingers came to cover her lips.

Don's badge.

He never left home without it, it was always on a chain around his neck or clipped to his hip. Sometimes he even put it in his wallet but it was always on him. He would never be careless enough to leave it behind.

Grace's knees buckled, one moment she was in control and the next Danny's solid arms had looped through her own and were holding her in place against his consoling form. She inhaled his sharp clean scent as he tucked her head underneath his chin.

"I got you." he whispered, his mouth next to her ear as he held her steady. "It's ok Grace, let it out."

Jesus, she couldn't do this right now, she couldn't fall apart. She imaged the baby residing deep inside her womb and how scared that it must feel right now. She knew it must sense her fear and discomfort. Grace couldn't face the idea of losing Don or this baby. God, she had to get a grip, she couldn't be like this. She needed to be strong for this baby.

She wasn't the only one that was terrified, she could feel the tension vibrating through Danny's entire body as he shielded her from the crime scene. There was a lot burdening his shoulders too. Don was his best friend and Danny was taking on the role of carer in this situation. He was the one propping her up and if she was honest she just needed a second to let go.

"Tell me he's ok Danny." she whispered, grasping onto his shirt as she buried her face into his chest. "Just tell me we're going to find him and he's going to be ok."

"Gracie." Danny murmured against her hairline.

He wanted to lie to her, he wanted to tell her that everything would be ok. They'd find Flack, he would laugh and joke about how a stun gun wouldn't keep him down. Yet Danny knew that wasn't true. Situations like this they never ended well. If this was anyone else the roles would have been reversed and he would be the one needing comfort but this was Grace and Don was her husband. How many times had the other man had his back over the years? It was time for Danny to have his.

"Let me take you home." Danny requested softly. "You shouldn't be here."

"I need some time to pull myself together." she said, her grey eyes stinging like hell as she struggled to compose herself.

"Give me a minute to talk to Mac?" Danny asked her, his hands smoothing over her shoulder blades as he drew back to look into her fatigued features.

Grace wrapped her arms around her stomach, her hands rubbing over her belly lightly in a bid to sooth the baby that she thought was probably feeling restless right about now. She nodded in agreement to Danny's statement before speaking.

"I'll wait here."