It's been a month since Josh broke up with me. I'm still struggling, but I'm trying not to show it.
Cameron has really been helping me. He's such a good friend. I think I like him more than a best friend but I don't think I'm ready for anything still to be honest.
Today has been kind of a blah day.
Everything has just been reminding me of Josh, and I just miss how we use to be. Our song came on the radio, I got it stuck in my head. I was cleaning out my closet and found a couple pieces of clothing that belong to him that I must have missed when I gave him his stuff. I just kept finding things because I was cleaning out stuff in my room.
Finally I found a letter that he wrote me a long time ago. I finally broke down. I shouldn't have but I did.
Right at that moment Cameron walked in my room. "Go please, I'm sorry" I said as I pushed him out my door. "Y/n what's going on" he tried to ask, but I just wanted him not to see me like this. I know he hates it when I'm down, and he hates seeing me cry.
I put my back to the door and I slid down it. I couldn't stop crying.
I miss how Josh used to be, he was a really good boyfriend. That was until he decided he didn't want to tell me he didn't love me anymore. I just wish I could move on.
I heard people talking about me in the hall outside my room. "What going on cam?" My sister asked. "I don't know. I walked in and she was crying and pushed me out." He told her.
"Huh, she has seemed down all day. I think it is Josh she asked me a bit ago to get he a box because she found some more of his stuff." She explained to him. "Ooooooh." He said.
"Maybe you should go home cam" she told him. "I'm not really comfortable leaving knowing she is this upset" he said.
Someone knocked on my door. "What?" I asked quietly. "Will you let me in?" My sister asked. "I stood up and opened the door.
She gave me a hug and more tears flew out of my eyes. "I miss him." I said through my crying.
"I know." She told me. Cameron walked in and shut the door behind him. He wrapped his arms around both of us.
"I just feel so stupid that I didn't realize he didn't love me in be end." I said calming down. "Don't feel stupid, not very many people would see it. And it's not like you're not busy. You have your mind set on different things" Cameron told me. We all let go of each other and he grabbed the sides of my face.
"I know it's not the same but there are other people who still love you to pieces, it might not be the guy you fell in love with a year ago. But it's still something." He quietly told him looking in my eyes, wiping my tears away with his thumbs.
I nodded my head a took a deep breath.
"Hey will you drop this off at his house?" I asked my sister giving her the box of his things. She nodded her head and walked out.
Cameron sat down on my bed and I went back to cleaning. "Y/n that's enough cleaning" he said. I stopped and walked over to him. I stood in between his legs and he grabbed my hands.
"I don't know if it's gonna mean anything right now. But I love you y/n. I really do and not just like best friends. I know it's crazy but please he's not the only one. And neither am I, I'm not expecting you to try and like me back because there is a good amount of guys who I know who would love a chance with you. What you had with Josh I know it was special, but he wasn't the right one. What he did was wrong. You might miss what you used to have but you will have something like it again. I promise" he told me.
I looked down at our hands and rubbed my thumbs against his knuckles. "I'm going to be completely honest right now. I really do like you, more than friends. But I didn't want you to know because I'm not ready" I said.
"I'm not expecting you to be ready. I'm okay with that. Just let me help you feel better" he whispered, showing the concern in his eyes.
"Okay" I whispered back. I sat on his lap and leaned my head on his shoulder.
He wrapped his arms around my and he moved back and laid is on the bed.
I laid on top of him and he rubbed circles on my back.
