Antichrist [m.h. AU]

Beautiful

I poured out my whole story to Matty in under an hour. When I finally finished he looked like he had tears in his eyes. This is what I didn't want. Pity. It's something I didn't like. For people to feel pity for me because of a mishap.

In that moment I wanted to cower back into the blankets and hide my burning face. I felt tears spring to my eyes quickly. "It was really all my fault." There was a crack in my voice and Matty knew I was going to cry. He kept one hand on his knee and the other toyed with a ring he previously had on. Bitting his lip his eyes traveled to my quivering fingers and up to my own glassy ones. I never remembered how beautiful the texture of someones eyes could be.

He broke eye contact for a moment. "None of that was your fault Viv. No, no not at all." Sitting up, Matty put his ring back on and brought his hands to my shoulders. He gently brought my frame into his embrace. That moment I completly let loose and poured out emotion that had been bottled up inside me since the day I reawoke.  It was a wave of tears spilling into my palms and on Matty's bicep. While quivering even more he pulled the duvet over the two of us.

"I'm sorry Matty. Oh god I'm so sorry you have to see me like this. I shouldn't have put this burden on you." This was the last time I told anyone what happened.

"Violet non of this is a burden. This is part of the human body, emotions like this is okay. Just let it out, cry. Cry in my arms until you can't breath. I'm here for you. We may be meer strangers but that doesn't mean I won't care. I want to help you forget the graphics and remember the best pieces and events in your life. One step at a time. Okay?" 

I could already feel the sinus headache coming through once I was done wiping my eyes. I felt unable to speak for that moment I just leaned into his chest and stared up at him. "Were far close for someone who's only known each other for two weeks." He let out a chuckle and help onto the nape of his neck."

I shrug. "You're a comfortable person to be around. I feel safe. Yeah?"

"Of course, do you still want your bed up here? Ross actually lives close to here and could help me bring it up for you?" He smiled, running his hands through his hair and smiling. I nodded thankfully and got up from the cold ground and started heading for the bedroom. Matty signals Ross to the parking lot. The mobile moving truck in the parking lot was under my dads name  until tomorrow afternoon. 

I had enough time to clear a space in the small studio apartment as to where I wanted my twin bed to be settled. It was dark out so I made time to hang up the drapes over one of the few windows: so the sun doesn't gleam into my face in the morning. As soon as they were hung Matty and Ross both arrived with the bed ready to be just laid down. I don't have a frame for it so I directed them to just toss it on the designated spot I made. Now I just needed to dig out my sheets, bring out my pillows the duvet and I could crash for the night.

"Thank you both." I called out softly as they flopped it on the carpet.I hugged Matty and showed them their way out. Ross smiled at me softly and nodded, giving me a fist bump and wandering off to the stairs to his crib. Matty and I both stood in the doorway now, silently staring at each other in the small space we had.

He decided to step outside the apartment and light a cigarette. "Do you need anymore help this week?" After his first drag his voice wore out and was raspy.

"I should have everything almost unpacked and I'm gonna job hunt tomorrow, with Same maybe..." Tension. "I wont need another pair of hands for awhile." He just grinned slightly.

"Matty..." I sighed. "Go get some rest, you need it." I commented, gently pushing him playfully by the shoulder. That got him to smile.

"Goodnight Viv." He spoke as he looped an arm into his leather vest. Before I could close the door he made sure to lean over to me and take my hand. Kissed my cheek and slowly walked away. Shutting the door I leaned against it and touched where his lips previously were with my fingertips. I felt my stomach fill with warmth. Whatever that was it was desire.

VVV

I was changed in something more comfy and climbed into my now made bed and proceeded to light these big glass cherry candles and lie down. The next morning they were all blown out by the open window beneath the drapes. Yet the whole room smelled of fresh baked cherries. Ordon was at my feet snoring up a storm. The whole place was quiet and soothing. Today felt like it's gonna be right.

I stretched and checked my phone for the time before getting up. About eight in the morning. Kinda early for me but the sleep was peaceful at the least. My dad texted me notifying that he dropped off my car in the parking lot today and took the moving truck back. Realizing that today I had to job hunt I sighed deeply and got up to begin taking a shower. I have to look and at least smell decent to do this. Driving had me nervous to the bone. The thought of it makes the hair on my neck stand up.

 After my shower I contemplated calling myself a taxi or driving myself. Like my dad said I need to get over it eventually. It was a mistake. I need to get over it eventually. 

Get over it.
Get over it
Get over it.

My best friend Sam had dialed me over text about coming over to see my place today. From the looks of it she was already on her way since my front door was opening right as I stepped out of my bedroom.