Remember Me - The Mortal Instruments - Clace Fanfiction

Chapter 5: Can I ever get my memories back? (Part 1)

 I exit the bathroom and head to the door. Before I open it Jace gives me a light kiss on my forehead. "I love you, Clary," he tells me. Not quiet enough enough to be a whisper but it was more quiet than a regular response in a regular conversation.

 "I love you too, Jace," I tell him as I kiss him on the cheek.

 I open the door and exit his bedroom.

I try my best to walk back to my room as quickly as possible. Thank the angels that I didn't encounter anyone on my way there. Once safe and confined in my room I slide down my door. I put my head on my knees, but I don't cry. Instead I think, recollecting myself while going through everything that had just happened in Jace's room.

 Oh my God..... I was that close to fucking having sex..... How the fuck did this happen? What the hell came over me? And Jace.... Jace is another topic all together. Damn. What have I done? Well I haven't necessarily done anything bad, just the thought of what I actually did. Shivers crawl down my spine like spiders.

 I stand up. Stop pitying yourself, Clary! It's done and over with. No harm done.... right? I go over to my bed and lay down. I need a nap...

------(Time skip)------

It's been two days since I got a piece of my memory back, along with my episode with Jace. After what happened with Jace, we started talking more, but I have this strange feeling that there's still something going on....

 I pack the rest of my stuff in my backpack. Tomorrow we're heading to Idris to see if the Silent Brothers can get me back my memory. I zip it up and I out it on the floor by the foot of my bed. I look over at my alarm clock and sigh. It's only 9:37 P.M. I still have to go to sleep. I don't even feel a sliver of tiredness. Instead it feels like I'm getting spiked with adrenaline every 10 minutes.

 I roll my shoulders to relax them. I really need to calm down. I feel a sudden pain in my stomach. Hunger. I have eaten since lunch, and that was oh.... 9 hours ago. I leave my room and head down hallway, towards the kitchen. I pour myself a bowl of cereal and take a seat a the counter/table, whatever it is. Why a bowl of cereal at 9:40 at night? Well I say, why not?

 I hear footsteps behind me. I spin around in my chair and come face to face with Jace. Oh God.... I feel the blood rush to my cheeks as I look away. Jace smirks as he walks on by and goes to the fridge.

 I now just realize that he doesn't have a shirt on. I can't help but stare at his back. Sort of mapping an outline of it in my mind. I know it's weird, and I'm not quite sure why I'm doing it.

 "You don't have to keep staring at my back, I already know that it's sexy just like the rest of me," Jace says with a small laugh.

 I immediately turn my head away but I continue to watch him from the corner of my eye.

 "Ah ha!" Jace says proudly as he pulls out Chinese takeout from the previous night. Yuck. There are some things that you can reheat and eat but things like stringy noodles aren't the best.

 Jace goes over to the microwave and throws in the box. He punches in a few numbers and stands by the microwave. I jump at the sound of the microwave beeping that it's done. Why, I have no clue.

 He takes a seat in the one directly across from me. As he eats his noodles he intently stares at me. I tilt my head, and he suddenly starts laughing.

 "What?" I ask, confused.

 "Nothing..." Jace tries saying through a mouthful of noodles.

 "Jace...." I say, I really want to know what he nearly choked over.

 "You're just cute."

 "I'm cute?"

 "You say that as if you don't know. Actually, on second thought you're not cute. You're beautiful."

If my cheeks weren't red they sure as hell are now. Jace laughs some more. He slides his food across the table and takes the seat to my left. He wraps his left arm around my shoulders. I feel like I should put him off, but this feeling feels... nice. It for some reason feels right, like it's natural. Like this is how it should always have been.

 "Jace," I start to say.

 "Yes, Clary?" Jace asks me, looking at me.

 "We shouldn't be doing this..." I try to tell him.

 "Why shouldn't we be doing this?"

 "This doesn't feel right."

 Pain flashes across his face. He looks away and puts his arm on the table. "I understand." The pain in his voice makes me want to cry.

 "Well it sort of feels right..." I try telling him.

 He looks at me, shooting daggers with his eyes. If looks could kill then I'd be long gone.

 "I have a lot of conflicting feelings, especially around you. Things like this don't feel right, but they also feel like it should be. I-I want them to be. I don't want to feel this strangeness. I just want everything to go back to normal."

 I start to break down and cry. Jace puts his arms around me and pulls me towards him.

 "Clary it's okay. Everything will go back to normal. Hell, I'd go to the ends of the world for you to get your memories back, and even more," Jace tells me, stroking my hair. I get that he's trying to calm me down, but all it's doing is making me cry even more.

 We do this for about five more minutes. We would've done it more, but Isabelle walked into the kitchen.

 "I----," Isabelle starts to say but stops at the sight of us, "I think I should go."

 She goes to turn around but I interrupt her.

 "It's okay," I tell her pulling away from Jace. He gives me look of longing.

 "I can leave," she says coming over to us, "it looked like you guys were having a heart to heart moment. And that's okay, I shouldn't of interrupted that."

 "It's okay Isabelle. I think I actually feel better now that we did that, I really needed that. Thank you, Jace," I say to the both of them. I look over at Jace and smiled. He smiled right back.

 I look at my empty bowl and sigh, "Well I should be heading on to bed. We have a long day ahead of us tomorrow."

 I get up from the stool and walk over to Isabelle and give her a hug. I was going to go over to Jace and give him one but he beats me to it. He wraps his arms around me from behind and puts his face in my hair.

 "Good night, Clary," he tells me.

 "Good night, Jace," I tell him back.

 We break and I head up to my room. Once my head hits the pillow, I'm fast asleep.

(A/N - I'm not quite sure how I did on this one, so please let me know. This is a shorter chapter compared to my other ones, but if I continued I think it would've been way too long. Or the next one might be too short, anyway here it is. So this was some what a heart-to-heart moment between Clary and Jace.Or something like that, I think. I hope you liked it, and please let me know what you think! ~ Tinytoonz)