Remember Me - The Mortal Instruments - Clace Fanfiction

Chapter 14: Realizations

So I explain everything to them: everything about Will, everything about when I got kidnapped, and everything that I have to do now. None of them disrupt me during my explanation, all three of them only listen intently and sometimes nod to show that they understand. Like I'm telling some story... as though they don't believe me. When I get to the part about the map that Will handed me and about his 'projection' or whatever it was taunting me, they all look at me with expressions like I'm delusional or something.

Whenever I finish there's a few moments of silence between the four of us, none of us quite sure what to say now.

"Clary," Jace says, gently laying a hand on my arm, "let's get you back to the Institute, you're exhausted and being out here isn't helping you.

I flinch at his words and I shove his hand away, a look of hurt crossing is face, "Don't you dare "Clary" me! I'm already almost out of time to do this! And if I don't finish this... I-I don't know what's going to happen to me! Or to any of you!"

"We'll protect you! We can make sure that no one can touch you!" He tries to negotiate with me, taking a step toward me for every one that I take away from him.

"You don't get it! None of you do! How were they even able to take me when I wasn't even off the Institute grounds yet?! No one can protect me, not until Will is dead. And even if you guys did somehow manage to protect me from THEM, I'm still missing some of my memories," I stop and I take a deep breath to continue with the argument... but all I do is let out a defeated sigh.

"I just wish all of this could go away, ya know? Sometimes I wish I never learned I was a Shadowhunter, that I ended up going onto art school like I wanted to. That I was still a normal mundane," I give all of them a weak smile. I feel defeated.

They all look taken aback by my response; Jace nearly stops advancing towards me, but he only walks towards me slower now, thoughts probably circling around in his head.

"I hate having to live in fear of getting mauled by a demon everyday. It's a Shadowhunter's duty to protect the mundanes and their world, whether it be from demons or even Downworlders. But Shadowhunters die, all the time actually. We've already lost so many... and I know I don't want to be next, none of us do. And having my memories stripped away by one of the things I'm supposed to kill... it taught me that even though me may like to act like we're invincible beings, we're actually not. We may share the blood of angels, Jace and I have quite a bit more, but we're still mortal. We're still damaged people trying to fulfill a duty we were born into."

I stop backing away from Jace, giving up on trying to stay away from him. He doesn't stop moving towards me, though. Izzy and Alec aren't that far behind him though. Why am I even saying these things? Where on earth did these thoughts and feelings even come from? Were they... were they there all along, just waiting to break free?

"Clary, we can help you!" Izzy's the one to speak this time, "just give us the chance to and we will!"

"Then help me find Will!" I respond, on the verge of tears, "Help me make everything right! Something happened between us and I need to find out what. He was human, and normal mundane like those walking on this street. He was turned into a demon somehow and perhaps we can turn him back! He has a family, and friends just like we do!"

"Clary, he's a demon now," Alec breaks into the conversation, "that's absolutely against our mandate!"

"But he wasn't always this way! There's still a little bit of human in him, I just know it!"

"Why are you defending him?" Jace asks this time, his voice full of melancholy and hurt, "why do you care about him so much?"

"Because he cared about me!" I almost scream. I gasp as I just came to my own realization, one that has been right in front of me since the very beginning; he was in love with me. And I never even knew it. I only led him on, wanting a girl that he could never have. But he didn't know that, not until it was too late. And somehow I know that I'm one of the reasons why he's the way he is. Now there's no negotiating, I need to find Will. Not to kill him anymore, but to make things right and hopefully get the answers to questions of my own. "He loved me... and I didn't love him in return. He never stopped caring about me either. He told me that he took my memories to protect me. He was trying to save me from THEM, because they wanted my memories of him."

"But why would they want your memories if they knew who he was?" Jace asks, confusion written all over his face. He just asked the same thing that I was wondering.

"That's what I need to find out. Look... it's either you guys are going to help me with this or not. If you are, help me decipher this damn thing so I know exactly where I'm going. If not... well this I suppose leave me alone. If I don't come back in a day, then you can start worrying about me."

Jace stops a foot in front of me, Alec and Izzy right behind him. I cross my arms and start tapping my foot impatiently, waiting for their answer. After a few more brief moments of silence, Izzy is the first one to speak.

"I'll go with you, Clary. After all, someone's got to have you back," Izzy responds, stepping away from her brother and coming to stand beside me.

"It seems I'll be tagging along, too," Alec says, stepping out from behind Jace, "can't have my sister and my friend going off into danger by themselves."

Jace just stares in astonishment at the three of us, his mouth is even agape, "you guys can't be serious! I still think that this is crazy and you guys are trying to get yourselves killed!"

"And you know what? That's fine. I didn't exactly ask you to come looking for me anyway." I reply, my voice full of sass and unintentional venom.

"ARGH!!!" Jace says, gripping his head and shaking it, "you drive me crazy! But... I can't just let the three of you guys go without me tagging along. That would make me a horrible boyfriend, and I love you too much."

"Aw, I'm touched," Alec mockingly replies, putting his hands over his heart.

"Lightwood I swear to God..." Jace threatens.

"Alright, alright, alright. You'll have to save your 'bro-mance' for later. Right now, we've got a destination," I disrupt the two of them and put orb out in front of us.

I press the button again and the map is projected just like it was before. The location hasn't changed either.

"I don't recognize that part of Queens..." Alec starts to say, but his voice trails off since he doesn't have a set answer to the location.

"I don't have anything either," Izzy throws her own two sense in as well, but comes to the same conclusion as Alec.

The only one who hasn't said anything is Jace. We all look at him expectantly. He puts his hand to his chin and continues to concentrate. It's as though I can feel the clock that's ticking down how much time I have left.

"I don't know what that exact location is... but I think we all know someone who does," Jace finally responds.

"And who might that be," I ask him, starting to get agitated.

"Why the High Warlock of Brooklyn of course! Seriously none of you guys could've guessed that? Not even you Alec?" Jace sarcastically responds.

Alec blushes at the mention of his boyfriend. For me, this is a different issue. Magnus may not even be at his apartment since he's trying to help me on the other half of this situation as well. He may not have an answer for me about who kidnapped me, but he may have the answer for Will's location.

"Than what are we waiting for? We've got a warlock to pester," I click the button on the orb again and the projection map stops.

I don't let anyone else say anything before I start walking to Magnus' apartment... again. But I didn't really walk there the first time, did I? The others catch up to me and we start our trek towards the High Warlock of Brooklyn's apartment.

I know that this chapter isn't that long, but here is Chapter 14! This one, for some reason was quicker for me to write once I got into the swing of things again. I'm going to keep this footnote short and sweet this time, but do stay tuned for the next chapter!

~ Tinytoonz01