There had been times, where i was so in love that I got so gullible. Little details and actions made me happier, whereas those little details and actions were red flags. Now that i look at it from a 2+ year perspective (the last time i was actually in love) i believe it was all puppy love from my side. I've always dated older guys, and with them, i felt that they never took me as a serious person. I'm not that great on showing emotions, where as they take that as a sign that I'm cheating or just not interested.
I've only been in love once, and it's quite poisoning. The person that means the most to you hurts you so much but so unintentionally. It's scary, but its true. That's what made me decide that a "relationship" was not best fitted for me. I'm more of the serious person, that would like to build with my spouse and be successful. Having children would come 2-3 years into marriage, and in those 2-3 years we'd travel the world.
I've been very emotional and protective lately; i think I like someone, but I'm not so sure. He says and does things that make me think: "Is it supposed to be like that? Is it normal to not take pictures with that person or is he just private?" things like that. Then again, i think back on my past relationship and my ex didn't like pictures, but he liked the fact that i posted about him and told people "hey, I'm in a relationship, don't message me." sadly i was that girl, but now, I wouldn't ever say that. I find it kinda immature. No one needs to know your love life, and no one gives a fuck.
I also have a really big problem with telling my friends I'm currently "in a relationship" i have major trust issues, due to not telling apart people that envyed me, and people that were truly happy. I came across a really close friend that actually followed my ex on two of her fake accounts she made, I got kinda mad, but that was just her... How she was as a person.
There will be people in your life, that either give you advice or look at you till your life goes downhill. Two types of people, that look and act both the same. It's your way of telling between a truth, and a lie. With me, my gut feeling tells me how i feel or how much i should trust an individual. Personally, i don't think anyone's true if you're doing better then them and they're lower then your level. But, that's just my perspective. There are kind hearted people in this world, but so less.
Someone once told me, since I've always liked older guys; "It's not a good idea. I know it feels great to be with someone who is older, but ask yourself why he is even dating someone many years younger than he is. He may have the best intentions, but that won't make it any easier if you two slip one night and he ends up in prison. How would you feel then? And the reality is that sex sometimes happens even when we don't intend it. In the heat of the moment, rationality goes out the window. This has actually been scientifically proven: 'We are not ourselves when we are aroused.' So stay away, if nothing else for his benefit. And truthfully it is probably good to break it off for your benefit as well."
