Silence is Golden

Chapter 31: April 2013

Ever since I came back from my trip to the hospital, I didn't see Ms. Campbell much. Which surprised me. She probably finally gave up on her little idiotic quest. But she should have told me. When I walked into TFC today, I looked like a kid who already peed his pants.

I watched as the clock tick by. I know I'm supposed to be paying attention to the stupid room and everybody in it, but the last thing I wanted to have is a fried brain. Once the clock hit the one hour mark, I glanced over at her office. Nothing. She was not coming out in her skimpy little outfit, trying to drag me away from this wonky group gathering. So I continued to sit and be quiet (because that is what I do best), watching the room.

Todd was unusually quiet too, his eyes darting across the room, then landing his eyes back on me. That one time we locked eyes, he decided to spill.

Where did you go?

So apparently, I was gone for a week. I held my left hand flat, an "L" with my right, my right thumb touching the center of my left hand and tilted the "L" forward. Later.

Didn't know how much later was. I was hoping never.

I couldn't sleep. I know I should, it was good for the body. But who the fuck cares about how well your body is doing here when they send you to the fucking nurses office to get you electrocuted. The more I thought about the past events, the more I began to realize how much it sounded like Cuckoo's nest.

What killed me the most was Rain. She was there, holding my hand. But I, a massive idiot, was unconscious, not being able to see her. I miss her so much. It has been one and half years since I last saw her. If only...

After lunch the next day, Todd drag me into our usual sketching place.

"Tell me," he insisted.

Digging into my pocket, I pulled out the sketch from a while ago, where he first told me about the movie. It was the drawing of the nurse's office, where McMurphy was given shock therapy. I had added my finishing touches to it, basing it off heavily to the nurse's office at here. He took it, studying the drawing.

"You went there?" he asked.

I nodded.

"Did they..." he couldn't finish as tears escaped from his bright yellow eyes.

It hurt me to do it but i nodded.

~~

I took out a piece of paper out. Only the moonlight lit up my room, illuminating the blank piece of paper in front of me. Taking out a pencil, I began to draw Rain.

But something stopped me. I don't know what. No, it's not the stupid crow that sits in the tree right outside my room who keeps me awake every night. But instead of Rain, I started drawing her sister.

The only time I saw her was in the family portrait that was in Rain's house. Rain never mentioned her and I never had the guts to ask her about the little girl. It scared me to wonder where she was now, the girl with hands as feet.

Instead of drawing her as a toddler, I drew her as a grown woman, strong and powerful. She wore a short dress, her boy-cut hair, beautifully styled. The dress flowed around her, ending at the middle of her calfs. Below, has her feet, what I thought was the prettiest aspect of her.

I colored her in, watching her come to life in front of me. Taking this drawing, i hung it on my wall, right under the window. She was the first drawing i ever put on my lonely, bleak walls.