Stiles' warm, eager brown eyes scanned the hallway for a glimpse of the all too familiar and exceptionally perfect body of Y/N Y/L/N. To Stiles, Y/N was the embodiment of everything wonderful in the world, she was sunshine in human form. And Stiles himself had the pleasure of calling her his, just as he was completely and utterly hers. He found her at her locker, like she always was at this point in the school day, and almost knocked over three students as he rushed toward her. He stopped in front of her locker, his hand on the small of her back as he came to a halt.
"Afternoon, gorgeous," he smiled at Y/N, grin widening when he saw her smile back at him. "So, guess what?"
"Coach is finally letting you play in an actual game?"
"No, I-"
"You're getting butt implants? 'Cause let's face it that thing is looking a bit like a really flat pancake..."
"Y/N! No, I-"
"You've finally gotten over that super embarrassing fear of scary movies so you're going to take me to see Lights Out and you're not gonna get scared and accidentally throw popcorn all over the people in back of us and get us kicked out of the theater during the coming attractions like last time?"
"Oh my god, Y/N, this is not the time for jokes. We both know I'm never going to see another movie again- that's not even the point! Shush for a second, will ya, babe?" He asked, running his hands through his sloppily gelled hair, as he always did when he was becoming flustered. Y/N nodded at him, suppressing giggles behind her tight-lipped grin. Stiles took a deep breath, cracking another smile at her. "Anyways, my dad is staying very late at the station today. I'm talking seven o'clock late. Which means that you should come over. For alone time." He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, and she could no longer hold back her laughter.
"How can I resist that extremely sexy, albeit slightly odd, eyebrow thing you got going on?" Y/N replied, shutting her locker and smirking at Stiles. "I'm assuming hijinks are going to ensue, am I correct in this assumption?"
"Extremely correct, baby girl, 'cause I'm already quite prepared." He matched her smirk, taking her hand and gently moving her to the other side of the hallway in a corner where they were sure to have at least a minute of privacy. He fumbled with his shirt pocket, producing a shiny, blue square package from inside of it. "See, prepared. Think you can wait until after school this time?" He teased, placing the condom in the back pocket of his jeans and recalling a time when she had been so frustrated during class that she had practically shoved him out the door when the bell rang, dragging him to the nearest janitor's closet.
"Shut up," she mumbled, folding her arms and looking down at her sneakers, her face warm. "Stop bringing that up, geez."
"I thought it was adorable, angel," he said, tilting her chin up. "And very, very hot. You're the hottest, most beautiful girl ever, you know that?" He leaned down to press a kiss to her soft lips, pulling away with a disappointed groan when the bell above their heads rang. "Aw, shit. I don't wanna leave you," he pouted playfully, giving her hand a soft squeeze.
"You'll see me in an hour, babe, we can part for an hour. Look, there's your boyfriend now. Bye, cutie," Y/N gave him a quick, chaste peck on the cheek before walking quickly down the hallway, disappearing into the English classroom. Stiles sighed, turning to face Scott.
"You're so in love with her, it's adorable," Scott cooed, clapping Stiles on the back as they made their way out into the courtyard, slamming their backpacks on the closet lunch table. "What are you doing after school?"
Stiles froze, eyes widening in fear. He fumbled around in his brain for an excuse, Scott watching with his eyebrows raised. "I- um, you know, gotta study and be a good student and do homework and definitely not let hijinks ensue while my dad isn't home. Why you ask? What are you trying to say? Are you saying I can't be a good student, because Lydia isn't allowed to be the only one with good grades, okay, Scott? Get off my case, man!"
Scott blinked three times, confused. Stiles' heart was pounding a million miles a minute, for reasons Scott didn't understand. His question hadn't been that hard to answer, had it? "Wait, what? I just wanted to know if we could hang out, but clearly there's something else going on. Are you going to tell me or do I have to force it out of you later?"
Forced laughter, nervous and panicky, tumbled from Stiles' lips. "Something else? You're funny, Scott. Haha, hilarious. Oh, look at the time. I'm late for my appointment. Gotta blast," he said, pretending to check his watch before grabbing his bag and darting off in the other direction, leaving a thoroughly confused and slightly scared Scott in the dust. His best friend sighed, shaking his head as he plopped open his textbook.
"The period just started, and he wasn't even wearing a watch," Scott mumbled to himself, rolling his eyes.
An hour later, Y/N was seated behind Stiles in Coach's class, Scott next to him and casting him strange looks every few minutes, which Stiles blatantly ignored as the lesson droned on. Coach looked around the class, asking loudly, "Does anybody have a quarter? A quarter?" Stiles nodded to himself, happy that the could prove useful to Coach once and for all.
"Yep," he said, reaching into his back pocket. Before he realized what he was doing, the condom packet flew out of his shaking hands, his mouth dropping open as the packet seemed to fall to the tiled floor in slow motion. He blinked at it, as if it would disappear if he closed his eyes hard enough. It landed quietly, and the entire class leaned over in their chairs to see what had fallen.
Every single student in the room turned to stare at Y/N, who was sinking lower and lower in her seat with each stare that came her way. Coach bent down, picking it up. "Stilinski... I think you, uh, you dropped this." Coach glanced over at Y/N as well, causing her face to burn as she buried her head in her sweater. Stiles, mouth still agape, stuttered out a quiet and embarrassed apology, to which Coach paid no mind. Scott stared at Stiles with a grin on his face, even more amused than Coach. The silence of the class was broken by laughter, and it didn't help that the entire class now knew what size condom Stiles Stilinski had to wear in order to have sex with Y/N Y/L/N.
XXL.
When the attention was back on Coach's obscure lesson, Stiles swiveled in his chair to face his girlfriend, who by now looked as if she were on the verge of murdering someone. "Baby, I-"
"All you had to do was get out a freaking quarter," she said, shaking her head at him. "That's all you had to do, Stilinski."
"Well, at least now everyone knows I wasn't lying about how big my-"
"End that sentence and I end you."
"Duly noted. Are we still on for after school?"
