I guess you could simply classify life without him as dull. I would even go as far as to say tedious and unimaginative. I'd never been one to rely so much on someone. I have always been independent. Even when it came to being in Scott McCall's pack, I was independent. I did every mission I was assigned to by myself. That was the only thing that stayed constant after him.
Isaac Lahey. The boy I fell in love with at seventeen years old. He wasn't my first boyfriend, but he was the first one I'd ever really loved. He was my first love. My first time. He was the first for everything that had meant something to me. And I knew that I was one of the first people that meant anything to him. I thought that he would also be my last for everything.
After the pack had defeated the Nogitsune, Isaac left Beacon Hills and went to Paris. He broke up with me, leaving me to deal with the death of my best friend, Allison, by myself. The breakup was messy and horrible. I'd said things I shouldn't have said, and so did Isaac. After that, I kinda fell apart. I really thought that he'd be there for everything. I guess I was wrong. As soon as the fight ended, I told him that if he really loved me, he wouldn't have left me. Those words, still a year later bring a pang to my heart. He did love me, I know that.
When he left, I was empty. Empty wasn't even close to what I felt. The feeling was like an open wound. I tried calling him for about a month after he left. I sent him text messages, left him voicemails, emailed him. Hell, I even sent letters from the other side of the world. Isaac didn't respond to any of them. I eventually gave up, and decided to leave him alone. He didn't seem to want me anymore, and I didn't blame him. The last words I said to him broke him more than they broke me.
I started ignoring the pack. I only kept in touch with the girls, Lydia, Malia, and Kira. Being with Scott and Stiles brought a pain to my heart. Scott and Stiles were some of Isaac's best friends. I couldn't even drive down Scott's street because my boyfriend technically, still lived there. Too many memories of the movie nights we had, the late nights, the memories of rolling around his sheets at ungodly hours of the night were too much.
Scott and Stiles eventually came to me and asked me to come back. They told me they missed their best friend and so I got back into pack things. They needed my help with the deadpool and Kate Argent problem they had and I was their first choice of help.
"Y/N, please, the pack needs you. We need you." Stiles said pacing around the front room.
"He's right. The moment you lost Isaac is the moment we lost you. Besides, we all know that you were the brains of everything we did." Scott said, his words bringing a soft smile to my face, but placing an offended look on Stiles'. Scott looked at his best friend and shrugged.
Stiles rolled his eyes. "Anyway, it isn't that we need you to solve everything, we need our best friend back. We need our sister back." Stiles whispered the last part.
"What do you say? Will you come back and be a part of my pack again, Y/N?" Scott asked with a hopeful smile on his face.
"Okay. I'll come back." Scott and Stiles smiled and tackled me in a hug. "Guys, I get it. You missed me, but can you get off of me? You weigh a ton!" The boys scrambled off of me, but pulled me into a group hug.
I met Liam and got close with him, he was like a little brother to me. Things were finally starting to get back to normal and that felt really good. Although, he was still gone. And we were still broken up. That's the one thing I wouldn't get past.
At the start of senior year, Theo Raeken came back to Beacon Hills. I remembered him from fourth grade, but not this Theo. This one was badass and let me just say, puberty did him good. Theo seemed to take a liking in me because he asked me out. I was hesitant to say yes, but I did. I thought getting into a new relationship would be a good thing for me. I thought it would help me finally get over Isaac. Theo and I spent a lot of time together. It was a real relationship and I cared for him very much, but the feelings I felt for him didn't even come close to the ones I felt with Isaac. Isaac was soft and passionate. Theo was rough and chaste.
Comparisons are easily made when you've had a taste of perfection in a relationship. Every night Theo and I spent together, I wished it was Isaac making me feel that way. I wish it was Isaac's touch bringing me warmth and pleasure. I wish it was Isaac's lips leaving kisses along every inch of my body. I wanted the feelings I had with Isaac to be in the atmosphere. Every time I was in Theo's truck, at his house, or even in his arms, in the back of my head I was thinking of Isaac.
I was always thinking of what he would do if he was the one spending the night. His large hands would probably be playing with my hair subconsciously. Isaac would be humming some song he heard earlier that day as we lied peacefully, wrapped in each other's embrace. I would look up to his cerulean eyes, and just admire them. I loved his eyes. They were soft and caring, strong and beautiful. His eyes revealed a lot about his personality, but only I would know that.
Every time Theo would kiss me, I somehow tasted Isaac's mouth. I tasted the sweet, addicting skin that was Isaac's lips. I always wanted it to be Isaac's pink lips on mine. When Theo would pull me into his embrace, I was disgusted with myself. How could I be in a relationship with someone when all I was doing was thinking of someone else? Someone that didn't care about me anymore.
I wanted it to be Isaac's arms that I was warm and safe inside. I wanted it to be Isaac that I woke up to every morning, not Theo. I love Isaac. He's the best thing that has ever happened to me. And yes, I do regret letting him walk out that door. I should've stopped him, or even went with him. Heaven knows I wouldn't have cared leaving this town. I guess I've learned my lesson, I touched the flame and I was burned.
I ended things with Theo, telling him the truth. I was in love with someone else and it wasn't fair to him. He was understanding of why I broke up with and I appreciated that. Theo ended up not being the good guy like I thought and that's where it kind of hurt. He lied to me during our whole relationship, but I got over it.
I confined in the pack about my feelings. I told them how much I missed Isaac and how much I wanted him back. I'd kept these thoughts and feelings to myself for over a year and it felt really good to tell them.
One night after the pack and I had a movie night at my house, I was getting ready for bed. I was already done with everything and ready to crawl into my warm bed that still somehow managed to smell like Isaac after all this time. There was a knock at my door and I figured it was Stiles who had left his phone here... again. I opened the door not bothering to look through the peephole. "Listen Stiles, if you left your goddamn phone here again, I'm gonna kick your ass." I looked up to be met with a tall figure with beautiful blue eyes and I took a sharp intake of breath.
Isaac.
When our eyes met, he softly smiled. His beautiful white smile stopping my heart. "I heard you've been thinking of me."
