It's Complicated(Miles)

Drowning

I wake up everyday in a blinding white hospital room to the smell of cleaning supplies and the constant beeping of monitors. Sometimes I imagine the beeping is a drum beat, even when I overhear near by patients monitors, I think of it like a drum set. That is all you can do sometimes to distract yourself from life, and right now mine was on an unending low. I was on a rollercoaster that only went down. Alya visited everyday, Jax visited once a week, and Bianca visited whenever she could. The only thing keeping me going was Alya's stories from Keaton, no matter how silly they were. It was late in the afternoon when Alya came again with a huge grin on her face. She walked in holding a little get well soon teddy bear fork the hospital gift shop. "I know you will get through this," she said handing me the bear. I smiled at her and held her hand. She looked at me for a second, than she began telling me stories about Keaton, my real home. "So today Mr. park began playing a movie on music history, but he accidentally put in finding nemo, it was hilarious I wish you were there." I smiled, "that sounds so cool Alya." I smiled at her, and for a second I was lost in her eyes and thought. We say there for a few minutes smiling and staring, before my mom came in and said she had to go. Alya said goodbye, than she slipped out the door and left.

* I love miles so much, but it is so hard to see him like this, it's getting hard to put on a smile even though all I can do is worry. I feel like I'm going to break down when I see him but I know I have to be strong for Miles, because I love him* ~Alya

*The only thing keeping me sane is Alya's visits and stories about Keaton, I don't know what I would do without her, or any of my friends and family. I feel so hopeless, but at least I know I'm not alone*~Miles

Everyday the pills become easier to smile, the pain becomes bearable, and the chaos of hospital life begins to feel like normal. I sit back and watch a random show, they really don't have a lot of shows here, I think to myself. I look up as the door opens and see a familiar face, it's Jax. He just looks at me and says, "what's up bro?" I laugh and say, "not much, just chilling in the hospital for fun." Making jokes about this is all I can do to keep me sane. Jax just laughs and says, "can I ask you some advice?" "Of course Jax." I say. He fidgets with his hands and says, "well, is there something up with Bianca, I mean she either doesn't talk to me, or she makes fun of me. Do you think she likes me?" I laugh and say, "girls are complicated but they aren't that complicated, trust me." Jax looks down and says, "yea your right, I was crazy tot hunk any girl that awesome could like me, but what about Jenna, the dancer, she's kinda cute." I look at him and say, "Yea sure dude go for it, she seems really nice. "Thanks dude, you give the best advice, Keaton's really not the same without you." I smile and say, "anytime dude." Than Jax waves goodbye and walks out of the room.

*I know Bianca doesn't like me, I just wish she did. I know it's some stupid crush, what Jenna and I have could be real, all I gotta do is ask. Hopefully I can get over this dumb Bianca thing* ~Jax

It's the next day, I have been sleeping for hours, and I still feel like I haven't slept in years. My mom thinks I'm losing to much weight, but it's just because hospital food is not that great believe it or not. I laugh to myself thinking, even fast food is better. I hear the door to my room open, and see a shocking face, Bianca. She looks worried so I say, "what's wrong?" She nervously looks at me and says, "something is wrong with me, Jackson is so stupid you need to control your friend." I look at her confused, "which means what?" She faces me and snaps, "what do you think, it means Jax is so annoying I can't stop thinking about him. He is so full of his dumb music, his laugh is so annoying, and his haircut is so bad it's screaming for help." I laugh saying, "for hating Jax, you think about him a lot." She says angrily, "that's the problem, I can't stop thinking about him, what's wrong with me?" I smile and say, "you like him." She sits shocked, "your right, what am I going to do now." I laugh again and say, "tell him." She looks me squarely in the eyes and replies, "I can't though, but you can tell him." I just look at her dumbfounded and say, "yea I guess so but..." than she gets up and cuts me off, "perfect so you will ask Jax if he likes me, thank you so much Miles I owe you." She walks out beaming, I plop back down in my bed, thinking what have I gotten myself into.

*I can't believe it, I like Jax, I Bianca Blackwell like Jackson Gardner. Whats wrong with me, what if he doesn't like me, I mean he likes kit, they both dj. I have to stop worrying, I have faith that Miles is going to say the right thing to Jax. I can trust him for sure, right?* ~Bianca

I decide to call Jax and just tell him, after two rings he picks up. "What's up dude?" Jax says. I just say, "so do you still like bee?" He pauses a second, than he says, "well I actually asked out Jenna, and she said... YES." I paused for a second, in a shaky voice I say, "that's great dude." He sounds excited, "I know, and if it wasn't for your advice to move on from Bianca I never would have done that. Thanks dude I totally owe you, I'm finally over her." I feel bad, especially since I'm the reason he asked out Jenna, I'm sure it's not that bad. "I know I do give good advice," I say in shaky laughter. Still sounding happy he says, "anyways I have to go, first date with Jenna, thanks again Miles." Than with that we hang up.

*I am so excited to be with Jenna, I mean I still love Bianca, but I know she would never like me. Jenna is a reality, a beautiful talented reality. Bianca is an unreachable fantasy, and that's all she will ever be, because a girl like that doesn't just fall for a guy like me* ~Jax

*I don't know what I am going to tell Bianca, hey Jax used to like you but I talked him into asking out Jenna, and now they are dating. I am in over my head right now. I don't know what I should tell bee* ~Miles

I pick up the phone, I have to tell Bianca the truth sooner or later, right? I dial her number, and press call, after a few rings it goes to voicemail. I wait for the beep, than I simply say, "Bianca I have something to tell you." In a shaky voice. Than I hang up, I don't know what I'm going to do. I flop on my bed, and close my eyes, than I hear the phone ring...