It's Complicated(Miles)

Mistakes?

It's one day until the dance at Keaton. I have been getting slightly stronger everyday, but my doctors still did not technically say I could go, but I told Alya I would be there, nothing is going to make me miss this dance, not even my dumb disease. Suddenly, I hear my phone ringing, "hello," I reply with a shaky voice. I check the caller ID and see that it is Jax, I let out a deep breath. "Dude, somethings wrong." Jax says in a shaky voice. "What," I reply in as calm of a voice as I can manage. "I don't know, lately, Jenna has been so weird around me, and Bianca has been avoiding my eye contact. I mean I thought we were friends." Jax lets out a sigh after finishing this sentence. I take a deep breath, knowing this mess is all my fault. "Jax, Bianca likes you." Jax takes a deep breath, " But I don't like her anymore, I like Jenna now, what we have is real." Exasperated, I groan into the phone, "whatever Jax, don't you see, Bianca really likes you, at least make things right." "How?" Jax says. "Honestly, I don't know anymore, just trying to fix one mess at a time, thats all." I say quickly. Jax says, "You should probably go, and get some rest." With a sudden burst of anger, I blurt out, "I'm fine Jax, just tired of having to deal with everyone else's problems. I feel fine, stop talking to me like I'm helpless." I bluntly hang up the phone, realizing what I have done. I push away people when they try to help, I just don't want to be weak.

*After Miles hung up on me, I realized he was right, I had to make things right with Bianca. I am just going to tell her I like Jenna now, but we can still be friends. I know this will work, but some part of me still doubts it. I am going to go through with it, I mean, that is what Miles would have told me to do, right?* ~Jax

*The worst part of being sick is feeling weak, I've been pushing people away, but it is all gonna stop. This starts with the dance, and fixing things between Jax and Bianca. As long as Jax doesn't mess everything up before I have a chance to make things right* ~Miles

It's already the night before the dance, I am still not sure if I can even go, but I don't really care either. I'm lost in thought when I hear my phone ring, this time I check to see who it is before picking up. My heart sinks, it's Bianca. Now I'm just wondering what Jax said, and how bad this is. I pick up and say, "hello," with an unsteady voice. "Lennox what did you say to Jax, I just got completely friend zoned." Bianca blurts out angrily. I hear her sniffle and can tell she is crying. "I didn't say anything," I say in a steady voice. "Well you must have said something. He said he is really into Jenna, and completely moved on from me, he said...we can still be friends." Bianca says in a shaky voice. I just bang the phone against the bed, what have I done. "I just told him to be honest with you." After a long pause she responds, "Well thanks Lennox, I thought it was worse when he barely noticed me...well I was wrong." I hear her sniffle again, "Bia-" I am suddenly cut off, when she hangs up. I sit on my bed, my only solution is going to this dance, than I can fix what is going on between Jax and Bianca in person. Not even Jax can mess up this plan. And even better, I will be able to see Alya again. The door to my room swings open, I look up to see my doctor. " So do you think I will be able to go to that dance." He smiles, " You have been asking me everyday, as long as your parents are there in case something goes wrong, I don't see why not. Plus it is only one night." I feel so happy I could hug my doctor, though I obviously did not. I just smile, saying, "Thank you so much." He just says, " well Christmas is only one week away, consider this an almost Christmas miracle." He walks out, and somehow all I can do is smile, I can't wait until the dance tomorrow. 

*I cannot believe Miles would actually tell Jax, and confront him about me. I also can't believe I let myself be friend zoned by Jax Gardner. I am Bianca Blackwell, I just have to get past this, and Keaton boys. I am going to walk into that dance tonight, and I am going to own the place. I am just going to smile, because if I fake a smile on the outside, no one will see that I am dying on the inside. The last thing I need is someone's sympathy, all I can do now is smile, and forget about Jax. Even though he was the only one keeping me from my own thoughts before, now what am I going to do, I am so helpless* ~Bianca

*I feel like I have a second chance, now I can go to the dance, and be with Alya, and help Jax and Bianca. I know they are right for each other, Jax just doesn't see it yet. I hope it's not to late though. All I need to do is get them to talk to each other, that should work right? I can't focus on that right now, I just have to focus on being with Alya, as a normal guy. Not just the guy in the hospital, but her actual boyfriend. Nothing is going to ruin this, not my illness, not the mess I created between my friends, Nothing* ~ Miles