It's Complicated(Miles)

Going Under

My mom and I have been in the hospital for over an hour just doing basic vital signs. I am already anxious, the hospital gowns, loud beeping, and constant smell of antiseptic runs my nose. I hate everything about hospitals, the only good thing is leaving. The doctor begins prepping me for surgery and Alya and my mom are still holding my hands. After a few minutes, I am wheeled to the operation room. When I am in there, someone puts a gas mask over my face and tells me to count backwards, I don't even make it to 6. I slowly lift my eyelids a few hours after the surgery, the room is super blurry, but slowly comes into focus. Everything feels sore, especially near my abdomen. I look around and see a few people, but my eyes land on Alya. I try to sit up, but the room starts spinning. Jax looks over and says, "How are you feeling?" In a raspy voice I say, "okay I guess." Alya walks over and squeezes my hand, I smile at her. She reaches down to hug me until I grimace in pain. I feel bad, but I can't help it, everything is sore. Everyone in the room continues staring at me like I am crazy, until I can't stay awake any longer, I feel myself slowly drifting away.

*I am so worried about Miles, I know he is supposed to be sore, but I did not realize he would be this sore. I just want him to feel better, I wish there was some way I could help* ~Alya

* I know Miles is going to say he is fine no matter how he feels, I just hope he will be honest with us about how he feels now, I am really worried about him* ~Jax

I come to again two whole days later, I guess the doctor gave me a lot of pain meds. I feel a lot better though. Alya, Jax, and Bianca were with me in the beginning, until the doctor asked to speak to me and my parents alone. The doctor basically said all of the side effects, new medication routine, and what to watch out for, in case of kidney failure. I tuned most of it out, which may have been stupid, but my parents were listening, and that's what matters, right? Than, the doctor says something that catches my attention, he says if I am feeling fine, after three more days in the hospital, and five more days at my house, I can go to Keaton. I feel so happy, I can see my normal life, it is so close I can almost taste it. When Jax, Alya, an Bianca walk back in I tell them the great news. I see Alya crack a smile, which makes me smile, I notice that Bianca and Alya are holding hands, I am happy they are becoming friends. "That's awesome dude." Jax says, in the words of a true layed back dj. I just smile, the days at the hospital go by in a blur, of visitors, tests, and mediocre food. When I return home, I notice a few things I didn't notice at the hospital. I feel tired all the time, my abdomen is so sore, and I never feel like eating anymore. I know it is nothing, but just in case I ignore it, I am not gonna risk my normal life for some stupid side effects. 

*Seeing Miles was great, I can't wait until he is back at Keaton. The only good thing about Miles being out is, it forced me to hang out with Bianca and we realized we have a lot in common* ~Alya

* I missed having my bro at school, but Bianca and I got some personal time, and Kit and i mixed tracks together so it wasn't unbearable* ~Jax

*It is the day before I am returning to Keaton and now I feel dizzy too, Something inside me is telling me that it will get better when I go back to Keaton, but I know that part of me is wrong* ~Miles

My first period was free so I just used that to go get organized and catch up with some homework I missed. After my free period ends, I rush to music. Mr. Park motions me over and says, " you can take all the time you need, you sure you can be back this soon?" I look up, "Don't worry I am fine, I promise I will let you know if anything is wrong." Than I walk to my seat and plop down next to Alya and Jax. Alya says, "How are you feeling?" I look down, "I am fine." Halfway through class the dizziness gets worse. I get up, to use the bathroom, and halfway out the door, I collapse. This time it is different, it isn't slow, it is instant, everything just goes black and my body goes limp. Everyone rushes over, but I don't get up, Mr. Park calls 911 and my parents. 

*I should have known Miles was not ok when I saw him walk in, I should have known my own student better* ~Mr. Park

*I am so worried, what if Miles is not ok, what would I do without him* ~Alya

I come to in a hospital bed, once again. There is a horrible sign though, I am in the room, alone with the doctor. No mom, no dad, no friends, no escape. He looks at me and I almost know what he is going to say. "Miles, I am aware that you have been having quite a few side effects, can you name some?" I look up and shakily say, "Dizziness, I am not hungry, I am really tired, but aren't those just side effects of the meds?" He looks back down at his clipboard and than looks at me. "Actually those are signs of acute Kidney rejection, I am afraid you may have to stay here a bit longer than we first anticipated." I close my eyes, and feel the tears start to come, the helplessness, the feeling of being frozen, defenseless against some unnamed dark mass about to attack. I feel an arm wrap around me, and I just cling to it, than I feel a had squeeze mine, it is Alya. The doctor goes outside to tell my parents. Alya looks at me and says, " you will be fine because you are a fighter." She looks unsure almost, than gets into bed and lies next to me. I feel myself cling to her for support. This is one of those moments, when your world falls apart.

*Miles can't be this sick, its just not fair, he deserves so much more* ~Alya

*I should never have hoped that I could have a normal life, I should have known that having a normal life was impossible,I don't know what to do, the only thing that kept me going was the hope of a successful transplant. Now, the only thing keeping me going is getting back to Keaton, to my family, to my friends, to Alya* ~Miles