Here We Go Again

18: What Did You Just Say?

"That is the worst name on the planet. No."

"I can't believe you won't even consider it! It's a great name, come on!" Wade groaned. He and Peter were lying on Wade's bed, their fingers entertained between them. For fifteen minutes they had been discussing what they could name their hypothetical child, if they ever got married and decided to have a kid.

"I will never have a kid named Slade Wilson. That's so dumb!"

"It is not!" Wade argued.

"Is to!" Peter responded.

"Fine, let's just say it isn't a good idea-"

"Because it's not."

"Shush! Let's just say that we don't name our kid Slade. What would we name him?"

"Well, I think we should name one of our kids Philip."

"One, Philip's not bad, nice choice. Two, did you just say one of our kids? As in there would be more?"

"Yeah. I think it's be fun to have more than just one."

"How many are you thinking, Pete?"

"Like, two or three. Nothing crazy, just, ya know, a few kids."

"Yeah, alright. That doesn't sound too bad. So, one of them is named Philip. What do we call the other ones. What if they're all girls? Then what?"

"If Phil's a girl, we could call her Phillipa."

"Phillipa?"

"Yeah."

"That's pretty."

"I know."

"I like that. What about the other two though?"

"Simon."

"No."

"Yeah, that one was just random. Matthew?"

"No."

"What are you thinking then? Besides Slade," he added.

"Spencer?"

"Girl?"

"Ah, fuck, I dunno. Sarah?"

"With an 'h'?"

"Yeah, sure."

"Eh."

"How about Frances?"

"If this is about you being hung up on that fucking Francis joke, I swear to god I'll punch you."

"No, I actually like the name Frances. It's pretty."

"Alright, fine. I actually like that one a lot too. What about a third?"

"John."

"Jonathan with no 'h', or Johnathan with an 'h'?"

"I think with an 'h'. Without, it'd just be weird."

"Yeah. What about a girl?"

"Danny Devito."

"Wade."

"Fine. Danielle? Daniella?"

"Those are actually good names, and I hate you, by the way." Wade nodded.

"Hey, why don't we just have gender-natural names for all our kids? Then we don't have to deal with any complications, name-wise, if they end up not being what they were born as."

"Good thinking. What are the names?"

"Fuck if I know."

"Jordan, Morgan, Chris," Peter suggested.