He ruined everything, He ruined my happiness.I sat alone, wide awake and broken in bed till the morning. I couldn't sleep. The tears were burning my eyes, my body felt weak and soulless. I felt empty. It was like my heart was ripped out of my chest.
I paced around for hours trying to convince my brain that he's gone, there's no use in crying, it won't bring him back but I failed, it wasn't working at all.
I rested my body and laid in bed, staring at the ceiling. My head was throbbing, the lack of sleep and the sobs caused an unbearable headache. My head was killing me. The usual 8 AM alarm went off, It was time to go to the set, but I couldn't do it, I couldn't go to the set looking like this. I won't be able to focus or even remember my lines. I picked up my phone and tried to call the directors and tell them that I can't come but they didn't answer. I then remembered that I have Robert's number so I called him and luckily, he answered.
"Hello?" He said in a sleepy voice.
I cleared my throat, "Sorry I didn't mean to wake you up."
"Who's this?" He asked groggily.
"It's Mella." I replied,
"Oh hi" He sounded more awake now,
"Hey umm can I skip and not come to the set today?"
He paused for a second before answering me, "No of course you can't!" , "I'm not feeling well." I sighed, "Uhh take a painkiller or something you'll not like what they'll do if you skip the day."
"Ok then I'll come."
"Alright see you there." He hung up.
I groaned and got up. I looked at myself in the bathroom mirror. I looked horrible, my eyes were red and puffy, dark circles starting to form around them, my face was pale and my lips looked dry. My blue hair was messy and stuck out in every direction. I was a sobbing mess.'You need to get a grip. Just few hours and you'll be done!'
I told myself through gritted teeth and jumped in the shower.After 15 mins of crying under the warm water, I put on fresh clothes and headed to the set.
2 hours later
My acting was so horrible, they had to cut almost every time we start, Anthony somehow remained calm but Joe was really pissed off, "Is everything alright Mella?" He Asked, annoyed as f*ck.
"Yeah I'm sorry, I'll do better." I said back. All of the cast members were looking at each other. They all had the same look in there eyes, The why-the-heck-they-haired-this-kid look ."You better, we're trying our best here. Okay let's do that again" He said loudly, "take 36, play."
"You know I wouldn't do This unless I believed in it with all my heart. You're putting the others on danger Steve!" Said Robert angrily and sat down next to Me and Jeremy, "I will not surrender Tony, i'd like to take my chances." Snapped back Evans, "Clint and I will have to work underground from now on if you --- uh I'm sorry I'm sorry." I messed up again. All of them huffed and muttered under their breath. I held my head between my hands, the pain was reaching a peak. My vision started to get blurry, it was the damn tears again.
Don't cry. Don't cry. Be strong. Hold it together.
"Let's take a 15 mins break shall we?" Said Robert loud enough to them to hear. He was the only one who didn't complain about me ruining the day. He leaned forward, "It's okay don't overwhelm your self." He patted me on the shoulder and I nodded. Thank god he didn't notice the tears. "Okay and please guys get it together!" Shouted Joe, raising his voice even more on the word together. "That was rude." I heard Runner saying under his breath.
I went to my trailer as fast as I could but without running. I preched on the couch with my arms wrapped tightly around myself and cried so hard. I couldn't fight the pain any longer. My heart felt weak, I just wanted to rest but that will not happen any time soon. I cried even more, and the more I cry the more the pain gets worse. At that point, I wished that I would pass out and relieve the pain.
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Fix My Heart ( A Robert Downey Jr. Fanfic )
Fanfiction*Completed* - Do you do this? Do you kill yourself slowly by keeping gray clouds of thoughts and feelings live inside you? Do you torture yourself by falling for someone that has no desire to be yours but you keep on doing it anyways? Because I do...