Shattered Heart

Chapter 14

That Three Words

We took, I think, more than three minutes to reach the back of the falls. I mean, the space behind the flowing water from the top. And now, Simo's still holding my hands. Imbes na ginawin ako dahil sa malamig na buga ng tubig ay mas lalo lamang akong nag-iinit. I can't look at his face, I might turn into jellies... If that happens, kahihiyan ang aabutin ko rito.

Bumitaw ako sa pagkakahawak sa kamay niya ng mapagtanto kong masyado ng matagal ang pagkahawak namin sa kamay ng isa't-isa, I know he felt that, that's for sure. Kusa naman siyang bumitaw. Ngumiti ako ng pilit sa kanya ngunit walang bakas ng ngiti ang kanyang labi. His serious eyes made me tremble like drums continuously beating so fast and loud. Hindi ko kayang makipagtitigan sa kanya ng matagal kaya nag-iwas nalang ako ng tingin.

Hinagilap ko ang hangin sa kung saan dahil sa biglang pagsikip ng daluyan ng hangin sa aking katawan. Nahihirapan akong huminga dahil sa mismong nakikita.

The thought of him topless is fucki'n hot! Nagkakasala na ako ng sobra. At hindi ko kayang pigilan iyon!

Nang iangat niya ang sariling bigat sa concrete floor sa gilid ng kweba ay napalunok ako. His arm flexed like he's attending gym everyday, well-tone muscles with matching drops of water that covers his body was really breathtaking! Parang isang tanawin iyon kung pagmasdan ko.

Gusto kong magmakaawa sa kanya. Gustong magmakaawa ng aking isip na itigil na ang kanyang ginagawa ngayon. Ngunit hindi ko ginawa. Nanatiling nagsasaya ang aking puso. Mind and heart will always be inversely proportional. What mind wants, heart won't. And vice versa. But sometimes, heart and mind is proportional. Those two will agree on the same thought' if we experienced too much pain, if we are too tired for doing efforts that they can't appreciate, and many more.

Sa tingin ko'y ang puso at isip ko ay magkalaban ngayon, and it is because of Simo.

But this time? I'm choosing my heart over my mind. You might think I might regret my decision, you're wrong. Never. I won't regret anything because I'm choosing him... Choosing him will be the best desicion I've ever made. And that's final. My love is unrequited. My love is everlasting. I didn't want that someday, I'll regret if I didn't chose him. Call me whatever you want to call me, but my decisions were fixed and final.

I know he costs me too much pain and still giving me that. I don't know his background that much, I don't want to ask him that. I want everything flows naturally.

Hindi ko mapigilan ang pagkamangha sa hubog ng kanyang pangangatawan. He has a fair complexion but still, I find it really sexy. His built were more likely to be a model posing for magazines. He can even surpass celebrities! Kung sa ngayon palang na nasa malayong probinsya kami ay marami ng nagkakagusto sa kanya, paano pa kaya kung nasa siyudad na? I'm sure more than half of female will be attracted to him or even gays and other guys will envy his beauty. Well, that's Crisostomo Emmanuel Arellano by the way. My freaking personal tour guide.

Kita ko ang paninitig niya sa akin. Nakaramdam ulit ako ng pag-iinit ng aking pisngi. Ang basang buhok niya, tumutulo ang butil ng tubig sa kanyang katawan. It traces his neck down to his pecs and to his hard abs. His V-line shouts manliness. Oh, God's and Goddess' why are you doing this to me?

He offered his hands to me, hindi na ako nag dalawang isip pa na tanggapin iyon. Ng makuha ko ang kanyang kamay ay naramdaman ko ang pag-igting ng kanyang panga. Am I too heavy to lift? Umismid agad ako sa ideyang iyon.

Isasampa ko palang sana ang kanang paa ko sa semento ay umangat na ako sa tubig. I was too preoccupied na hindi ko naramdaman na hawak na niya ang aking baywang. He's too strong! Nagawa niya akong iangat gamit lamang ang isang kamay.