This is Love

Chapter III: Sooner or Later

I woke up with spinning head. Para akong nakasakay sa Space Shuttle. I managed to sit up and realized I was in a hospital. I was in one of the cubicle, yung curtains lang ang pumapagitan sa ibang cubicle. It was a relief that my condition was not that serious. Hinanap ko yung phone ko sa bag, I dialled Jenny's number. Bigla namang bumukas yung curtain at nakita ko si Jenny.

"Wazzup?" Bati ko sa gulat.

"Wazzup your face. Nag-alala ako sa'yo!" Nakasimangot na sabi ni Jenny.

"I'm fine, Jenny. Stop worrying." I said.

"Explain to me what happened back there! You're not fine. Something's happening to you pero di ka man lang nagsasalita."

"Jenny.." I sighed.

"What?!"

"I'm hungry."

"Pinapabili ko na si Ismael ng food."

"He's here?"

"Syempre tinawagan ko sya. Ako lang ang kasama mo, kaya kinabahan ako. Nandyan din si Cassandra, inaayos na yung paglabas mo."

"How do you want me to explain what we were doing to Ismael?" Naiinis kong tanong.

"Anong kailangan i- explain?" Ismael appeared. Nagkatinginan kami ni Jenny. "I will demand an explanation, Elise. Pero hindi ngayon. You have to rest." Tumabi sakin si Ismael, "Just make sure na hindi ko ikagagalit yang reason mo. Okay?" I nodded. He kissed my forehead. I hugged him.

Paano ko ba 'to sasabihin kay Ismael?

*****

Hindi rin nagtagal ay nakauwi nako. I just suffered mild fatigue and nervous breakdown. Paano naman ako mapapagod eh wala naman akong ginawa? And sooner, I thought that maybe I was tired of thinking. Thinking of all the things that will destroy everything.

I went straight to my room. I heard the door closed, followed by a sigh. I'm initializing my thoughts. He's here waiting for my explanation. I sat on my bed and looked at Ismael intently.

"So?" He demanded.

"Pwedeng wait lang? Kasi nagiisip pa ako kung paano magpapaliwanag." Sabi ko na nakasimangot. Sana masense nya na ipagpabukas na ang paguusap namin para makaisip ako ng maganda- gandang way para i- explain.

"Okay. I'll give you time. Pero hindi na natin 'to ipagpapabukas." Umupo sya sa isang upuan at alam kong hihintayin nya akong makapagisip kahit abutin pa sya ng madaling- araw.

"Sige na nga!" I said. Wala na naman akong takas eh.

"Bakit nandun kayo ni Jenny  sa bahay ni Maestro?" He started.

"I was looking for--"

"Xander." He finished.

"Yes. At meron akong explanation kung bakit ko sya hinahanap." I started narrating yung nangyari simula sa Simbahan tapos yung lalaki sa tawas. Sinubukan kong lagyan ng convincing power yung pagsasalita ko (kahit wala akong ganung power) para maparating ko na kailangan kong makasigurado na ligtas si Xander.

"Ano namang napala mo?" Tanong ni Ismael matapos ko magkwento. Napatungo ako. "Wala ka namang napala dyan sa kutob mo eh! Bakit ba kasi hinahanap mo yung taong ayaw naman magpakita sa'yo! Elise naman! Kung importante ka para kay Xander, hindi nya hahayaang nagaalala ka ng ganyan. Hindi nya hahayaang mahirapan ka. Dapat nagpakita na sya noon pa. Dapat pinayagan ka nyang bumisita sa kanya. Kung hindi naman sila pwedeng lumabas, sana he contacted you! Hindi mo ba naiintindihan?"

And my tears bursted like a water canon. I want him to stop talking things like that about Xander.

"Elise naman.." He punched the table. "Hindi mo alam ang nararamdaman ko.. Para akong nakikipagkumpitensya sa taong hindi gumagawa ng effort na feeling ko mas mahalaga pa kaysa sakin."