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Chapter Four

[A/N: Just a sort of note or something; in my chapters I'll be switching from young Sayuri to older Sayuri. The parts when it goes to the past is just to show how her life kinda went downward, and the parts when she is older is the present. You can kinda see it as the older Sayuri reflecting on her childhood in the past. Anyways, keep reading, and I hope you enjoy it!]

It was a week after the fight. Kakashi said that it was okay, but Sayuri knew it wasn't. Every time she looked at him, she felt the guilt eat her, bit by bit.

"Kakashi, aren't you gonna get ramen too?" The older brother let out a bitter laugh before grabbing his own chopsticks.

"You're not gonna eat all of that on your own, Sayuri. We're sharing."

"Why?" The bowl was smaller than the regular, and it could barely fill Sayuri's stomach.

He seemed to have been tense from the question.

"Because..." he sighed, before breaking off into another bitter chuckle. "Were running out of money. Ever since dad left us, we haven't been stable."

Sayuri couldn't believe he could say such things so nonchalantly.

"The Hokage is trying to help us, he gives us money every now and then...but I don't think he'd want to help the children of such a coward."

...---...

She couldn't remember her mother.

All she was was just a fleeting memory.

She tried to hold on...but it was already gone.

It's funny. I can remember when Kakashi hid in the bathroom from his fangirls but I can't even remember my own mother.

She used to ask Kakashi what she was like, and he used to respond, "She was caring and generous. When a kid would cry, she'd give him a lollipop out from nowhere. She was also funny, and a great cook. You used to love her cookies. And...she was beautiful. Like you are."

But now, things were different. "She was the best mother in the world. She was generous and nice and caring...she was beautiful, more beautiful than anyone in the world."

"What about me?"

"You're nothing but trash."

"Kaka--"

"She's never accept you for who you are. You ruined her. You ruined dad too. They were so proud of you, and you jacked it all up."

She found a photo in her father's drawer, after his death. She unpacked the drawer full of his drawings and paintings, and found a picture frame.

It was of her.

And yet she didn't even recognize the person when she laid eyes on it. It took her a minute for her to realize it.

The woman had long brown hair, just like hers. She had youthful peachy skin, and a bright smile. Her eyes--although they were a natural onyx the seemed to have sparked joy.

She never told us what was wrong with her.

Sayuri's smile turned to a frown.

She always told us she was fine.

Her eyes averted to the ground.

She never wanted us to worry.

She let out a bitter laugh.

Why can't I remember that?