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Chapter Thirteen

Hello! I just wanted to say that I will be posting a new book soon, possibly on or after Christmas! The book is one that is like this (oc paired with Sakura) but it is inspired by the amazing writer, writer168.

Now, if you don't know this author, go check out writer168's stories! They're mostly focused on Sakura and push away all the Sakura haters! Writer168's ongoing book, Stumble is a great book, as well as the book, Otokage (which is the book inspired me to write my new book).

Anyways, have a happy holiday(s)! Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! :]

...---...

If a different person were living her life, they'd say that Sayuri's bullies were her brother. Her brother was the one that ruined her life. Her brother was the one that followed her. Her brother was the one that gave her pain.

But Sayuri saw things differently. She knew better than to think that of her brother.

Her brother wasn't the bully. Her own self was.

Because she let herself be beat down, she let her guard down. She let those people hurt her--and she took those words for granted. She let them implant those words in her head--

Fat.

Ugly.

Freak.

Stupid.

Brat.

Mistake.

Unlovable.

And she let them stick to her like glue. She let those words chain her down and pull her further.

She didn't fight back.

Why didn't I fight back?

If she did fight back, then she wouldn't be this way. She wouldn't be this teenager that hated her own self.

Maybe then, she wouldn't have an eating disorder.

Maybe then, she wouldn't have scars lining her arms.

Maybe then, she wouldn't be so weak.

But things are different.

Sayuri's a victim of her own bullying.

...---...

She wished she never ended up like her father. Her father died, his hands full of pills that were three days expired. He liked to let the wave of turmoil hit him over and over again--he liked to feel himself suffer.

Sayuri never knew why he fell into such a depression. She figured it was because of the death of their mother, but that was a long time ago. She didn't understand.

She wished her father was here, so that he could guide her through her own problems. So that he could pull her out of her own waves of turmoil instead of letting them drown her--like her father did.

She wished she wasn't like her father.

But she was.

And she knew that in a few years, she'd end up being the one lying on the floor, pills in her hands--

...---...

Today Sayuri woke up without any hesitation.  She jumped out of bed, wiping her drowsy eyes, and got ready for her classes. Although she felt numb, she didn't bother trying to cheer herself up this time.

After showering and putting on her clothes, she braided her hair while it dried. She figured that making it look wavy was all she could do to make herself look better. She always hated how plain her hair looked; while Sakura's pink locks swayed in the wind beautifully.

When she turned to the mirror to do her makeup, she felt her chest tighten at the sight.

She remembered the first time she tried wearing makeup.

A popular girl called it out at school and drew all the attention to Sayuri, in the middle of lunch.

"Makeup won't make you pretty, especially with that ugliness!"

"Makeup won't cover up that!"

"All you're doing is just making yourself even uglier!"

Sayuri wanted to call them hypocrites, but all the attention was drawn on her. She felt her hands move on their own and start tightening into fists. Soon, they moved onto her arms and started scratching.

Her face grew red and blotchy until a girl ran up to her and splashed her face with water. Ten seconds later, her makeup was melting off her face.

The next day she wore as little makeup as possible. The girl that splashed her face came up to her in the morning and teased her. She took out a cappuccino from a nearby girl's hands and splashed it all over Sayuri and her clothes.

Everyone crowded around them and laughed at her. Sayuri could taste the beverage as the girl cackled, saying, "What? Do you think you could use makeup to become popular? Because you're still a loser, no matter how much makeup you wear! Gross!"

The girl ran away, as if Sayuri had a contagious sickness, before Sayuri could respond. She wanted to say, "No, I never wanted to wear makeup to be popular. I just wanted to feel pretty because what you make me believe is the opposite."

Sayuri snapped back to reality when she heard Sakura yawn. She decided to forget the makeup and grabbed her bags before walking out the room. She knew that the second she left, Sakura's friends would run to her room to bother her.

Sakura was quite the morning person. She'd wake up at six, clean her part of the room, her ready for her classes, and prepare a lunch. By the time she finished doing her makeup and drying her hair, Sayuri would be awake.

But today was a different day.

Sayuri did know that at Sakura's practice yesterday, the coach was in a terrible mood and made Sakura and the others run extra laps and do other stuff--she wasn't one to be athletic.

The only time she was good at a sport was when she was in elementary and middle school, with the sports basketball, volleyball, wallball, and tetherball--basically anything that involved bouncing a ball. This was before she started getting bullied.

But if she were to go up to the fields and try and play those sports again, she would fail. One, because she was short. Her genes gave up on her like how her brother did with her. Two, she was five years out of experience. Three, in order to play she'd have to roll up those sleeves and--

No. She opted not to.

That would just call for more attention.