Georgetown Behavior Health Institutions

April 7th 2016

This is where it all changes. This is where one person, just one guy, one human being can do to someone else. Today, is the day that changed the way my life would of been for the rest of my life. 

I didn't see Justin all morning, nor on my way to my first period. After second period, I didn't see him either. So I just walked to my second period and waited for the teacher to get there to open the door. While I was waiting i saw Justin, he was walking towards me. But not alone. He was holding hands with this guy named Angel. I cannot express my hate for this guy. And then just for him to pour more gasoline onto the fire. just perfect. As Justin was walking up my teacher got there. I ignored Justin and walked into my classroom. I was sick to my stomach, Once again, someone who I thought liked me, went off to someone else. Am I really that bad or something? So now I am rock bottom. To a teenager, school is their life. Their whole life revolves around school and what happens in school. So of course what I am going through right now is a very big deal for me. Once again I am feeling like I am not good enough for anyone. But, i'm also confused. Me and him weren't dating or anything, but I really did like him. For some who are reading just hold on. I end up doing something outrageous. So, after seeing Justin with that other dude, I of course am not in the mood for even seeing Justin. Of course it ruins my whole damn day, and I can't even seem sad because this school feeds off of drama. The next day I come to school. I avoid in every possible way to see Justin. I want nothing to do with him at all. There was a pep rally for our school, but this time it was taking place outside at the football field, usually it is held in the big gym. But, I was thinking "okay, I can use some cheering up, I will go hang out with some friends, have a good time." But no! Of course no! Justin just so happened, out of the whole damn stadium, sit 15 feet away from where me and my group of friends where sitting. AND WHO WAS HE WITH!?! ANGLE! My blood was boiling, and I was so pissed. I was trying so hard not to let it effect me, But fuck, I really liked Justin. About 20 minutes into the pep rally, I left. I went inside to a practice room. A practice room is like a 10' by 12' room that is sound proof for band and choir student use. So I went there, knowing that I wouldn't be found, not as if anyone was even looking for me. But I couldn't handle it, it was complete silence in that room, and I felt like that was even driving me more insane. So what I am about to say next, I don't know why I did this, but I do know it was out of an act of anger, and an act of completely going mad. So, what I did was that I grabbed a black marker, and I went to the bathroom. I went into the last stall, the big one and o started righting on the walls. All over the walls. Things like "tonight is the night that we all die" and "why can't i ever be good enough, I just wan't to blow my brains out." and etc was written. I didn't erase it, I just figured that the custodian would just wash it all the wall and whatever. The bell rang and I ran to my bus and wen't home. cried all that weekend and isolated my self to my room.