Georgetown Behavior Health Institutions

April 30th

As the day was going along, I was of course at home. Not much was happening today. Until I felt the vibration of my phone go off. I didn't think anything of it. I just thought it was a Facebook notification, or something that wasn't important. So, I ignored it. I felt the vibration again, so I built up the strength to get the phone out of my pocket and look at it. It was a text message from an unknown number saying "hey, its Addison." I shot up. My eyes got wide and I smiled big. It was him.  I immediately texted back.

"Hey!, how are you?"

A few seconds later, my phone vibrates again.

"I just got out, I had to stay longer because I got into an argument with someone here, and they kept me longer because of it."

I was so happy to hear from him. That means that he didn't do anything stupid to harm himself. Then I stopped. Did I really just call self harming stupid? Look at myself. I had cuts on my arm, scars that I knew would last for a while. The ones I did in the shower that one night in GBHI, I knew it wasn't going to go away for a while. A long while. I knew it wasn't stupid. I know how it feels to have the blade run across your skin. The sensation of having that blood leave your arm can be addicting. 

Me and Addison texted non stop that day, He told me what happened when I left, If anyone else got out, or if anyone new arrived. Then he brought up something I forgot I did. He brought up the journal. He told me that he knew that how I felt about him, and that he claimed to feel the same way. But, I wasn't sure to believe him or not. Because while we were in there, Addison never really showed affection towards me until the few final days I was there. First he would always flirt with Haddon. I remember watching him flirt with Haddon, and it would always hurt. It would always bring me down, which made me want to leave there faster. After haddon left, He started messing with Rachel. I wasn't sure exactly what they did together, mainly cause after Haddon left I just completely shut myself from Addison. But, for some reason why, I knew that I wouldn't be able to resist him. I'm emotionally fucked up, I knew from the moment I started talking to him, that I wasn't going to be able to not want to be with him, I knew from the hospital that I shouldn't mess with him, but I thought since we are out, maybe he wasn't like that.

Funny thing in life is, people never change. They can claim they do, but trust me. they don't. I sadly had to learn that the hard way. After being out for about a month, I decided to try and give him a chance. I mean, i know how it's like to be cheated on as it is... why not pretend to be happy and just be accepted by society and just say i have someone to love me. 

So we ended up dating. It was kinda weird at first. but I guess we both leveled each other out. I can't say that it was the best relationship I had, but I was content with it.