Georgetown Behavior Health Institutions

April 15th

After vitals and medication, The doctor came into the unit. Kids surrounded her, asking when they are going to be discharged or that the medication they are currently taking isn't working. All she kept telling them them was that she isn't here to see them. A lot of kids didn't like being told that, there were some kids here that have been here for 40+ days. I don't think i would be able to handle that. Honestly, if i had to stay there that long i would try any way to kill my self. I would have no mercy on my self. Finally the crowd of kids around the doctor calmed down and she called for me. I was confused because, I didn't have much to say to her.  She walked with me down the hallway where the rooms were. She asked me how i was doing, i told her everything was fine. See, my plan was to tell them what they want to hear and you will go home faster. so i did. I told her that this place really helped that the medication really helped and i felt a lot better, which i didn't i was lying of course. I just wanted out of there. That place has taught me nothing. The medication doesn't help, i still feel like killing my self. I still feel like dragging the blade across my wrist and watching the red thick liquid run down my arm, as it makes me feel as if letting that blood run free, releases the bad and negative spirits that cause me so much pain, but slitting the thin paper of so called skin and letting them free, releases the pain i can't seem to get rid of any other way. 

But anyway, she smiled at me and told me that was very good, and that all they wanted to do was help and see me get better, i just smiled. Then she said the sentence i have been waiting to hear for! "I think you are ready to discharge." My eyes got big and i actually had a real smile. I looked at her with excitement, was thought to my self "these people are so easy to trick!" She told me that she will call my parents tonight and they can come get me tomorrow. I told her thank you so much and then she left the unit. I went to go sit with Kamryn and the rest of the people, and they asked me what me and her talked about, I told them that i lied to her and told her everything was fine and that everything was helping and she replied that she is going to call my parents and talk to them about discharging me tomorrow and i can leave tomorrow! I looked at Kamryn and she had an angry look on her face. She wasn't mad at me, she was mad that she was here longer then me and im getting out before her. I didn't tell it to her face, but i thought to my self " if you stop acting up and pulling code green maybe she will let you leave." But overall they were happy for me. That night i went to sleep early due to the fact that i just wanted tomorrow to hurry up and come, so i can finally leave.