Georgetown Behavior Health Institutions

April 22nd

This morning while i was sitting at my table in the morning, Addison walked out before everyone woke up. I knew why he was awake. No one on their first day of being in a Mental institution can sleep. They aren't allowed to give you any medication to help you sleep unless it is said by the doctor. He came to sit by me and we just chatted a little before everyone else got up. This is where things get kinda blury for me. Which is weird because this is where i start to feel. Even though i knew Addison for a short period of time, I was starting to like him. 

what i do remember is that there was a time sometime during this day, i think it was between lunch and dinner, that Haddon kissed Addison. Which kinda you know felt like it broke me. I don't want to say that it effected me a a lot, due to the fact that one i kinda just met Addison the other day, and two that we are in a mental institution. I just knew when i saw it happen I kinda got a little sad about it, mainly because i wanted to be the guy kissing him. But yeah, what was i going to do about it. After that i kinda stood distant from Addison. I didn't talk to him, nor hang out with him anymore. But i always caught my self staring at him from time to time. He would be sitting at the table and i'd be sitting against the wall writing in my journal, and i'd daze off and then next thing i knew i'd be looking at him. I would force my self to look away of course. Mainly because i didn't want to get attached. But, i may have spoken too soon. As the night went on i found my self thinking of Addison more and more. It was hard to sleep that night, even with the sleeping pills. That night i actually cried silently to my self because, well FUCK! im too emotional! i hate that about me! Im fucking crying over a guy who i just met! What is wrong with me!? Tomorrow i just need to ignore him. Act like you never spoke to him in the first place, act like you two never met... Can i do that? Will my mind let me?