Pitter Patter || Bucky Barnes

chapter 12

(Bucky's pov)

"It's okay (Y/N), I'll be fine," I reassured her as I grabbed her hand. I held (Y/N)'s hand tight because I could tell that she didn't want to go. Her concern for me was heartwarming and gave me butterflies like a little kid.

She nodded at me and glared up at Tony. It made me uncomfortable feeling the tension between the two of them. If (Y/N) and Tony are as close as she said they were, something big must have happened. (Y/N) snuck out of the room and closed the door behind her. I knew she'd be close, but it always made me sad seeing her walk away. I missed her already.

Tony had set the arm on the table, and lined up all his tools next to it. I don't remember the last time I looked to my left and didn't see that hideous metal arm of mine. It was disgraceful. It reminded me everyday of what I had done. All the people I killed. I still don't understand why such a kind person like (Y/N) would care for me so much. I literally almost killed her yesterday, yet she still can bare to be in the same room with me. Most of the people at HYDRA wouldn't have given me another chance before wiping me again.

I looked back to the fleshy arm. It was kind of creepy at first, but maybe it would be different once I had it on. Tony grabbed a chair and sat next to me without making eye contact. How could someone so obnoxious and temperamental as he was be one of the faces of New York?

Before I realized it, Tony had begun to take the black cap off the end. There was still some metal in my shoulder, trailing off into a broken end of wires. The black cap protected the wires and broken metal from falling off everywhere. Tony winced at the sight of it. He did this to me, and now he has to fix it. Ironic, isn't it?

He sat there examining my limb before picking up the half-robotic, half-fleshy-looking thing of an arm. There were wires sticking out at the top of it, which I assumed would connect to fit into the ones I already had. He said before that I'd be able to feel things with it, which was astounding, if anything. I haven't felt anything with my left hand in forever. All I could think of was that I'd be able to hug (Y/N) with two hands. And how I'd be able to touch her soft skin with both hands. She had the most amazing skin.

While Tony started attaching wires and reconnecting parts, I drifted off in my mind. What was (Y/N) doing right now? Probably helping Steve cook dinner so he didn't burn anything. Oh gosh, I hope he doesn't mention anything about our talk in the lab before. While Tony was talking to (Y/N) about my arm last night, I was catching up with Steve. I told him how amazing (Y/N) was, even though we'd only known each other for a day. I also told him everything about the makeover she gave me, how I couldn't stop looking at her eyes as she gently placed her hands on my jawline when shaving me, how her hands were so soft when she was cutting my ends, and how extraordinary it felt when she would play with my hair. I told him every detail like we were best friends again. I think we were. All Steve did was smile at me while I told him my story.

"So I'm guessing you like her, Buck?" I remember Steve saying, raising an eyebrow and smirking.

I looked back at (Y/N) and how beautiful she was. Her long hair tucked behind her ear and her eyes looking so intently at Tony. I can remember her looking up at me and how it gave me such a feeling I can't even describe now.

"I mean, yeah, she's a friend. Well she's only here to keep me company, but I still think of her as a friend. I don't know if she feels the same about me but..." I paused and looked at her again,"...I definitely know how I feel about her."

Steve placed a hand on my shoulder and gave me a big smile, making me turn back at him.

"Glad to have you back, Bucky."