I am you and You are me? (South Park Body swap AU)

Nonexistent Coffee

(A/n: This chapter will feature:

-Tweek in Clyde's body

Also I gave Tweek's mother a first name now please enjoy)

"What is this "coffee"? I've never heard of it before."

Tweek stared at his mother April Tweak with eyes wide in utter disbelief, did he just hear her correctly? He woke up in Clyde's room all of a sudden with a small headache so he came here to get his favorite dosage of coffee to help soothe it, but it looked like he couldn't since his own mother seemed to not know of the drink they serve.

There's no way coffee no longer existed all of a sudden. Not his precious. His number one bitter tasting beverage couldn't be gone, it couldn't! Oh how he craved for the dark liquid right now, his favorite Cinnamon Hazelnut. The name alone made him nearly drool in thought of the tasty flavor. He loved the rich sweet smell it produced, and the rich sweet taste that made his taste buds go crazy. Without it, how's he suppose to last through the day...or through life?! No juice or any other drink would satisfy him. Tweek almost cried at the thought, to live without his favorite drink is like living in a non-stop nightmare, having to be reminded almost everyday that coffee was nonexistent.

"Umm Clyde, are you okay sweety?" April asked with a raised eyebrow.

Tweek blinked as he focused back to reality, he decided to ask his mother about the drink before he went into a panic fit. "How can you not know what coffee is? You have the word under the shop name for Christ sake!" His sudden outburst caused the few people in the building to look at him, but he payed them no mind, his sanity was on the line here.

This time April gave him a concerned look. "What are you talking about? Our shop is called Tweek Bros. Beverages, if we would've heard of this coffee we would be selling it by now."

Tweek was silent once again. His eyes looked to the glass door before walking over to it, his movement robotic-like. He pushed the door open and walked out, gazing up at the shop name for confirmation. Written in big red letters were indeed the words: Tweek Bros. Beverages, the word beverage under the shop name.

The brunette blinked once then twice before gripping and pulling at his hair, his mind refusing to comprehend what his lavender eyes just saw. He rushed back inside with his orbs wide in a mixture of panic and bewilderment. 

"W-where's Cra-I mean Tweek? I need to talk to him!" Maybe talking this over with Craig would help elevate him on the matter, one person backing him up would surely be both helpful and reassuring. There's no way they wouldn't trust their own son, even though Craig wasn't technically their's but you get the idea.

"S-sorry Clyde, but Tweek isn't here at the moment. He and his father went to the store minutes ago," April informed with a sweatdrop. Clyde was acting way too weird right now for her liking.

Tweek's right eye twitched. He could run to the store to get Craig, but he got the feeling that it would be pointless. His mind was overflowing with questions on this crazy predicament, and with that he passed out, hoping to wake up from this horrid nightmare. Damien laughed at the poor teen, he knew the brunette wouldn't let him down.

He was always curious as to how Tweek would react without his favorite drink around, and needless to say this was only the beginning of Tweek's coffee misfortune.

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Tweek awoke with a shout, having woken up from the worst nightmare of his life. Worser than when he dreamt of the underpants gnomes stealing all of his underwear. He dreamt of a world without coffee, his precious beverage was gone.

He groaned as he got out of bed, desperately craving the dark colored drink right now. It's a good thing Clyde's dad, Roger Donovan, drunk it otherwise he would have to always stop by the store to get the ingredients needed for the drink every morning. The man didn't question him when he first drank the beverage, in fact he was actually glad his son started drinking it. He later found out that Cinnamon Hazelnut was Tweek's favorite thus he made it for him every morning.

The brunette teen trudged down the stairs and found Mr. Donovan present in the kitchen preparing breakfast. The odd thing was that he didn't smell any coffee brewing. He raised an eyebrow at this as he walked over to the dark brown haired male. "Hey dad why aren't you making any coffee?" Something told him that the dream he had earlier wasn't a dream, but he instantly pushed the feeling aside as the man turned to answer him.

Roger gave him a confused look. "What's coffee? That somethin' you eat or another one of your crazy dreams?"

"Shouldn't have ignored that feeling earlier," his mind advised. So the dream he had was indeed real...

Roger returned his attention back to the stove since his son wasn't answering him. "Well breakfast will be ready soon so go hurry and clean up." Tweek didn't move, he didn't even hear the man as his mind went into a panic parade of questions. His right eye twitched again then he tightly gripped at his bed hair, what world was he in right now? This was definitely not earth.

He ran back up to Clyde's room to sort out his messy mind, he needed proof that coffee did exist but how could he get it? He didn't know how much longer he could last without his caffeine, it's the only thing that kept him stable. He couldn't go back to being a twitchy, paranoid mess. He looked around in Clyde's room for something to help him with his proof, immediately spotting his friend's phone on the nightstand.

Tweek took a deep breath to calm himself before walking over to the nightstand to retrieve the device. He may not have a phone, but that didn't mean he had no idea how to use one, he just hoped the government didn't track him down for using it. He turned it on, really glad Clyde didn't have a password lock on his phone, or maybe the government hacked into his phone and took the password off. Clyde's phone was not to be trusted! "GAH! Jesus don't think about it, just hurry up and get this over with."

He typed in the word coffee in Google search...but he didn't get any results. He tried another search engine, but got the same thing. This couldn't be real, there was absolutely no way this was real. The phone slipped out from his motionless hand as he stood there with blank wide eyes, he didn't hear Roger call him down for breakfast nor Damien's snide laughter.