Shah Rukh Khan-1998
As soon as I hear the lock contract I barge through the door and plonk myself onto her hotel bed. I fold my arms across my chest and set my lips into a straight line.
"Well come in why don't you?" Kajol says sarcastically closing the door and moving into the room to stand in front of me. I shrug. If barging into her hotel room is the only way I can get Kajol to talk to me then that is what I'm going to do. I don't think she realises how much she actually hurt me playing on my fears of hurting her. Everything just seemed to happen so fast with Kajol. One minute we were broken up and the next minute we had had sex and Kajol had left. Now here we are after almost a year of avoiding each other about to start another giant argument over our future. I just don't know whether our future will actually involve one another though.
"We need to talk and you keep saying that 'it's a bad time'," I say, "but whether you like it or not you really hurt me. I need to know what is happening to us! Are we still together? Have we broken up? Why did you just have a go at me for trying to talk to you about our future?" Kajol looks exhausted. Her eyes are empty and I can tell she's not really here in this room but elsewhere. I watch her as she figures out what to say. I don't know what I want her to say. I don't know whether I want her to tell me we are still together or that we are over. I don't know which one would be the better option right now. I expect her to just bumble her way through yet another excuse but she doesn't. She looks up from her feet and just looks so angry and frustrated and annoyed and hurt and upset.
"What do you want me to say huh? You want me to be able to just turn around and say 'yes I'll tell my parents' but I can't. No matter what you do my father will never change his opinion of you. He thinks you have different morals to our family and there is no way on this earth that I am going to be able to change that view. I love you Shah Rukh, I love you that much that I was and still am committed to you and only you. I'll turn my back on my family to be with you because whenever I'm not with you I feel incomplete and empty but you just think I'm with you for the sex and that hurt me! You think I don't think about the future but I do and it sucks to think that maybe we won't be able to work out because you just have one way of thinking. You think I don't want children, you think I don't want to get married, that I just want to use you and keep you as my 'dirty little secret' but you have no idea. All you do is make things about you and sometimes there are bigger things to think about than whether or not you are okay. My father has just had a serious heart attack and is in hospital and I don't know whether he'll still be alive when I get back to India and all you want to do is talk about your feelings. Well I'm sorry but sometimes I have bigger problems Shah Rukh, problems I wish I could share with you but you just hold onto things and won't let them go so how am I supposed to talk to you when you won't accept my apology?" Kajol shouts letting tears wash her cheeks. Suddenly everything makes sense. The emptiness in her eyes, the fact she's been avoiding me, the tears currently splashing down her cheeks. I get up off the bed and envelope my arms around her pulling her close to me as she laces her arms around my torso. She sobs into my chest and I feel all the anger leave my body. I have been narrow minded and I totally thought all her responses had been because she wanted to stay young and immature not because she couldn't admit to me her hopes for the future. After standing cradling her for a few more minutes Kajol unlaces her arms and wipes her cheeks with her fingers. She leans back and looks at me. It feels like the first time she ever looked at me and I realised I was in love with her.
"I want to be with you," she whispers leaning towards me kissing my lips. I can tell what Kajol means by her statement but I don't want to push whilst she's feeling fragile.
"We can't," I whisper trying to push her away but desperately wanting to feel her skin against mine and the touch of her lips.
"I want a baby with you," she mumbles against my lips. With that we are kissing again.
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Secret Love Story #wattys2017 (COMPLETED)
FanfictionShah Rukh Khan and Kajol were never supposed to 'work' as a couple. There were too many barriers blocking their path but sometimes you have to do the impossible in order to make things work. They wanted you to believe they were both single. They wan...
