Secret Love Story #wattys2017 (COMPLETED)

Decisions

Shah Rukh Khan-1995

"It's just so unfair," Kajol sobs as she relays the situation with Shomu. I know it's unfair but maybe Shomu is right. I don't think I could live with myself if I hurt Kajol, I love her too much.
"Maybe he has a point though," I whisper holding my breath for Kajol's response. She removes her head from my chest and sits up on the sofa drying her eyes swiftly.
"What? Shah Rukh you are nothing like that," she says furrowing her eyebrows. I shuffle around on the sofa feeling uncomfortable. I'm not with Kajol to boost my career, on the contrary, I'm with her because I've never felt so complete in my life before I met her. I just don't think I could be with her knowing she had sacrificed a relationship with her family, knowing she had picked me over them. If I ever did hurt her-which I hope I would never do-then who would she have in her life to talk to?
"I just think your dad has a point," I mumble watching as confusion settles over Kajol's face.
"Don't you love me?" Kajol whispers tears pricking her eyes.
"Of course I love you," I laugh nervously, "I just don't want you to make any rash decisions." Kajol shuffles on the sofa lacing and unlacing her fingers.
"But I love you," she murmurs, "and I don't want to lose you. My family will understand they just want a reaction." I'm unconvinced. There is an obvious underlying problem between me and Shomu one which isn't just going to disappear because Kajol sticks two fingers up to her father's wishes.
"Kajol can't you see," I sigh feeling a pinch of frustration rising in my voice, "your dad just doesn't like me and that is never going to change. You can't just throw away your family for something which might not even work out." I know I'm being pessimistic but Kajol has to recognise the bigger picture. Sure things have been great for the past eight months but what happens if later on down the line things start to crack and break?
"But if we can get through this we can get through anything," Kajol flusters grabbing my hands in hers and squeezing them tightly. She is blinded by a whirlwind romance, by flirtatious encounters and sneaky glances across the room. She doesn't understand exactly what she's throwing away. Even though I don't agree with the way Kajol's parents are going about breaking us up at least it shows they care for her. Kajol has to realise that her parents aren't being bad guys; in their eyes she is still their 'baby girl'. I lost my parents when I was young not through choice but through fate. Kajol has a choice right now. I can't let her choose to disregard her parents for me because I know what it feels like to wake up every morning and wish I could have just one more day with my parents.
"Kajol," I snatch my hand away from hers and stand up.
"Shah Rukh?" Kajol sounds so nervous, so anxious, so hurt. I have to stop her from ruining her life. She will learn to love again, someone her father will hopefully like but that's not going to me and it will never be me. I inwardly curse myself and pray Kajol understands that what I'm about to do is for her sake. I'm doing all I can so she has an easier decision to make.
"Kajol I don't love you," I lie hoping she realises I don't mean what I'm saying but it is the right thing to do.
"What?" She sounds so timid compared to earlier and it makes me feel awful.
"I can't be with you because I don't love you. I was just using you but now it's over," I feel my head and heart begging me to stop, trying to force me to retract my statement, to tell her the truth: that I love her. I know it's too late now. Kajol turns away from me and walks towards the door.
"It doesn't change how I feel about you," she sobs opening the door and slamming it shut behind her.
"It doesn't change how I feel about you either," I whisper praying she will hear me, "I still love you."