Secret Love Story #wattys2017 (COMPLETED)

Misread

Kajol-2001

Things just keep going wrong. Shah Rukh refused to film any scenes with Rani which meant that the whole day of filming had to be stopped and the schedule rejigged. Rani keeps giving me death stares and Shah Rukh warned me she's going to spill everything to my father. Well it's just a theory in her head because Shah Rukh promised me he'd denied a relationship between us and I believe him. But things don't stop there. He's being really clingy this morning and I don't know why. He's making me feel a tiny bit claustrophobic with his arm wrapped around my waist pulling my back into his chest. I swear I can feel his heart rattling against his rib cage as he pretends to still be asleep. After two years of marriage he stills thinks I don't know when he is actually asleep and when he's pretending to be asleep!
"Shah Rukh?" I whisper waiting for his response.
"Shah Rukh I know you're awake," I giggle rolling my eyes to myself as Shah Rukh sighs knowing he's been caught.
"Haan?" He mutters snuggling his face into my neck making me blush.
"What's up?" I ask meaning what's been up since yesterday and why is he trying to crush me in his grasp this morning. If he thinks I haven't noticed then he is being ridiculous! I'm his wife for crying out loud of course I'm going to realise something's wrong.
"I just worry that I'm the reason your family is torn apart and that Rani telling Shomu is going to ruin any small slither of chance you had to make up with him," Shah Rukh mumbles into my neck making me frown. I had choices with my parents. I had chosen to walk away from them because I couldn't live without Shah Rukh. That's not his fault on the contrary it's more like Gods fault for making us a complete pairing.
"Shah Rukh it was my choice to end it with them and look at me now! I'm building up a relationship with my mum again and I've got you next to me when I wake up which makes me so unbelievably happy," I laugh turning over forcing Shah Rukh to face me. He has that frowny face on which makes him look adorable. I stroke his cheek with my left hand and kiss the tip of his nose.
"But you still don't trust your mum," he murmurs and I sigh. I should really be getting changed so I can go to the set and finish off filming some of my scenes but I feel like Shah Rukh needs me.
"How about we discuss this over dinner?" I suggest clambering out of bed and walking towards the ensuite to freshen up. I hear Shah Rukh grumble and take that as a yes response.

********************

We order our meals with Shah Rukh taking constant sips of his water putting me on edge. What is wrong with him? Our waiter takes our menus and I place my hands on the table in front of me.
"Shah Rukh..." I begin only to be cut off by Shah Rukh himself.
"Look okay I know I'm the cause of all your problems but I'm really sorry for all the hurt I've caused you I just handled things so wrong and now everything is backfiring and Rani is telling your dad about us and shit is going to happen and it scares me but please don't break up with me because I love you and I don't know what I'd do without you because we've come to far to end things now please don't divorce me I can change I will change I'll do anything for you please Kajol I love you and  I'm just so sorry," Shah Rukh rambles loosing me somewhere in the middle.
"What?" I ask in complete and utter disbelief. He thinks I want to leave him. That's preposterous! I love Shah Rukh more than I've loved anything in my whole life and I want to be with him. I don't understand where he's getting all this craziness from.
"You've just been so distant lately," Shah Rukh mumbles looking slightly embarrassed at his outburst.
"Shah Rukh if Rani was going to tell my father I'd know about it by now and no I don't want a divorce because I love you," I giggle trying not to draw attention to ourselves. His face falls a little as he becomes more bewildered than embarrassed.
"But you've been off," he stammers looking at me. I nod my head. I thought I had covered it so well but evidently not. I didn't realise Shah Rukh would read straight through my pretence I'm trying to keep up.
"Shah Rukh I... I..." I stammer unsure of how to put what I want into words, "I want a baby." It's out there now never to be taken back. I scrunch my eyes closed. We never really spoke about the loss of our son. We sort of just experienced it but never spoke about it, instead we just bottled everything away hoping against hope that it never really happened. Since we cremated him and scattered his ashes we haven't been back to 'see' him and that makes me feel like a bad mother. I mean we didn't even name our son! How crappy is that?
"Really?" Shah Rukh mumbles with what sounds relief in his voice. I open my eyes feeling his fingers touch mine and I smile sheepishly.
"I'm just scared to lose another baby though," I mutter admitting my worst fears out loud. Shah Rukh smiles comforting me.
"The doctor said another placental abruption is slim and that most pregnancies are safe and fine," he whispers, "why should yours be any different?" I shrug. Because I'm a liar. Because I'm in a secret relationship. Because I'm experiencing bad karma.
"I was thinking maybe tomorrow we could go to where we scattered our son and then go to the place you scattered your parents as a mark of respect?" I suggest watching Shah Rukh's eyes perk up. He nods his head pushing his hand further onto mine.
"And maybe we can talk more about how we feel?" Shah Rukh murmurs and now it's my turn to nod, "but if you want a baby then I'm prepared to have a baby too." I smile feeling heat rising in my cheeks.
"So I'm definitely not divorcing you," I whisper making Shah Rukh blush as he laughs. He totally misread the whole situation!