Secret Love Story #wattys2017 (COMPLETED)

Always

Kajol-2006

When I signed up to do Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna I had no idea I'd be playing opposite Shah Rukh. It was awkward to begin with and then it just became more awkward as time went on. We would act all lovey-dovey for the camera and then we would just depart and go our separate ways. Karan has just dropped the bombshell that we are doing an extremely risky scene but he can't stay to film it so has appointed Shah Rukh as director. I didn't know this scene was going to happen when I signed up and now I regret signing up altogether. Although it is true I still love Shah Rukh and I miss him more than words can explain I'm just so torn. My parents need me. I need my parents. But I also need Shah Rukh. And he needs me. I just can't seem to work out an equilibrium so my head didn't feel like it would always explode.
"Um, shall we just start and see where it goes?" Shah Rukh mumbles trying his hardest not to look at me. I shrug staring at the ground. This is more than we have said to each other in the past three months.
"Kajol I need you to cooperate to make this happen," Shah Rukh sighs annoyed but it's not my fault that I just don't want to get lost in his eyes in case I say something ridiculous and make a fool of myself.
"Shah Rukh I just can't," I breathe turning and walking away. I just need some space. This scene was just dropped on me without any prior warning. I try to hold back the tears welling in my eyes wiping my face with my hands and sighing loudly. Why does life just have to be so difficult? I wander back to the hotel and slide the key into my lock walking it. I'm about to shut my door when I feel someone force it open. It's Shah Rukh. I try to ignore this tingling feeling running through my blood, but just end up stepping backwards allowing Shah Rukh to walk in.
"Why can't you do it?" Shah Rukh asks calmly. I shut the door and place my forehead against the cool wood.
"I dunno."
"Why did you let me in?" Shah Rukh asks again.
"I dunno."
"Why didn't you ask for a divorce?"
"I dunno."
"Why do you still wear your ring?"
"I dunno."
"Why don't you know?" Shah Rukh shouts shocking me out of my current state of confusion and self-pity. I turn to look at him. I just want to see those dimples on his cheeks, that cute smile, the love in his eyes. I just want him, more than I've wanted anything in my whole entire life.
"Because I love you! Because I regret leaving you that night. I regret just sleeping with you and not telling how I truly feel about you. Because I regret what I did to you, breaking your heart because I'm weak. Shah Rukh you don't know how much I want you," I shout back feeling the tears in my eyes again pleading to be let out. It's true, every day I wake up and the first thing I think about is Shah Rukh. In the middle of the day I find myself daydreaming about his touch and his laugh and the stuff he talks about. At night he is the last thing I think about before I feel my eyes closing and sleep enveloping me. At night he is the face I see in my dreams. I need Shah Rukh now more than ever because I'm lost. I've lost the person I was when I was with Shah Rukh. He walks towards me cupping my cheek in his hands using his thumbs to wipe the tears as they fall.
"I still love you," he mumbles licking his lips before letting out a ragged breathe trying to hold back his own tears.
"Babu told me to follow my dreams but he doesn't realise that you are my dream. To be with you openly, to have a family with you, to love you freely... That's my dream," I whisper as Shah Rukh brushes his lips against mine. Whenever I'm near him I feel that familiar buzz and pull which takes my breath away and makes the blood pump faster through my veins. I'm over it now. I'm over being that lost scared little girl who does whatever her parents ask. I want to be my own person whether my parents like it or not.
"Shah Rukh?" I mumble against his lips letting me arms slip around his waist and pull him closer to me.
"Haan?" He murmurs back tracing my jawline.
"I love you," I whisper feeling Shah Rukh's hands slip to the hem of my top.

********************

"So?" Shah Rukh mumbles his face nuzzled against my neck as his fingers entwine with mine.
"Haan?" I mumble back closing my eyes and letting this feeling of completeness wash over me. I don't want to move in case I wake up and this everything that has just happened turns out to be a dream.
"Does this mean we are back together?" He whispers and I smile. I never really classed us as broken up. I didn't want to divorce Shah Rukh because I always wanted to be his and be connected to him somehow. The only thing that has been getting me through these past years is knowing that Shah Rukh and I are bonded together forever through the eternity tree. I made a promise that day that I'd be Shah Rukh's and only Shah Rukh's and that's the way it was always going to stay. I shimmy away from Shah Rukh breaking our hands before rolling onto my side and looking at him as he stares back a soft smile on his lips.
"Do you want to get back together?" I ask, "I know I really hurt you..." Shah Rukh's smile doesn't change but he does grab my waist and pulls me closer to him. He kisses my lips before smiling against them. I guess that's his answer as he rests his forehead against mine.
"I love you Mrs Khan," he mumbles and there it is again... That spark when he calls me his wife.