PR0F1LE

LOST

Ni saya. Mie.

I'm here on behalf Kyu. I don't know how supposed I said it but truthfully, Kyu is really... sick! Oh my god how I wish I could help him more. But I just can't. And it's killing me inside.

As you guys already knew, Kyu didn't bother to make any update for his story almost a couple of weeks and it did really bother me. I'm also couldn't wait for any longer as it scares me sometimes to think what he really able to do such as... attempts to kill himself! So I called him. (Yeah, we exchanged our phone numbers before he really got the access into this acc. As I made the deal, the access on my account and he must give his number. You knew, just a precaution if anything happen in the future.)

I called him 3 times and I almost give up upon my fourth try. Eventually, he answered my call. His voice was so low, almost inaudible in my hearing.

ME: assalamualaikum. Kyu?

KYU: *coughing before hardly breathing*.

ME : awak okay tak ni?

KYU: Mie... Silent.

ME: Kyu?

KYU: it's hurt... I think I'm gonna die!

He cried. I heard how his voice breaking. And how hell I do know how to calm him and I felt so terrible.

ME : Kyu... apa yang dah berlaku ni? Bagitahu saya awak ada kat mana.

KYU: aku tak tahu macam mana diorang boleh jejak aku. Aku... aku cuma perlu sesuatu untuk dimakan. Aku lapar, terlalu lapar sampai aku rasa aku boleh mati kebuluran.

He stopped, trying to shoving the pain down.

KYU: aku singgah di kedai runcit stesen minyak. Aku cuma nak beli beberapa bungkus roti. Kemudian... dia nampak aku. Polis-polis itu pandang aku. Salah seorang dari mereka datang dekat. Aku dengar dalam fikiran dia cakap dia macam kenal rupa aku. Aku takut Mie. Aku takut sangat! Aku lari sekuat mungkin. Bila diorang nampak aku lari, diorang kejar aku.

I hold my breath. I'm too afraid to breathe out because I think it will bother his story.

KYU: aku lari ke hutan. Aku hampir loloskan diri tapi salah seorang dari mereka lepaskan tembakan. Aku dengar tiga kali. Mula-mula aku ingat aku terlepas tapi kemudian.... Kemudian aku rasa pedih sangat. Bahagian bahu aku rasa terbakar. Seperti disiat-siat. Aku sedar yang salah satu tembakan tu terkena bahu aku.

I cried. I knew I shouldn't but I can't. I was crying. Crying and sobbing. Crying and sobbing.

KYU: tapi aku tak berhenti. Aku lari sampai aku tak dapat rasa kaki aku. Aku rasa macam nak mati. Mungkin aku akan mati Mie. Mungkin ni balasan lepas aku bunuh dia.

ME: PLEASE KYU, BAGITAHU SAYA AWAK KAT MANA!

KYU: kalau ni pengakhiran aku, aku cuma nak kau kuburkan aku. Aku taknak mayat aku membusuk sorang-sorang ataupun menjadi bahan bedah diorang semua. Aku cuma mintak kau kuburkan aku.

I bit my lip, shaking my head multiple times and swallowing what felt like a hard and huge size of climbing rock.

ME: awak tak boleh buat macam ni, Kyu! Saya boleh tolong awak! Just tell me where you are!"

I am a paramedic. I am a nurse. Sure I can help him. It is just a wound. A shot wound. If he still alive-barely alive, that's mean it must be mild injury and it doesn't do kill. Perhaps.

All he needs to do is tell me where he is. Tell me the damn place name!

And then I heard nothing from him. Just a loud long beeping sound as a sign he'd hung up the phone.

I ended up collapsing against the wall, curling my knees up to my chest and sobbing. How could you do this to me, Kyu. How could you come to my life just to say goodbye and left me hanging?

A minute later, my phone ringing and I looked on the screen. A... picture? Someone sent me a picture part of a building. The interior part which seems like the old place that been abandoned a very long time ago and there are a pieces of broken boards hanging on the white wall. I knew this place! GTSeV'en Chemicals! This place has been closed a long time ago. And the most important things are, the sender is Kyu!

I felt relief, for a while. He sent me the picture because he wanted me to 'kononnya kuburkan mayatnya'. And I'm here prayed that I will be there to cure him and make him survive. Ya Allah... please... give me more time and give him more time. But if Allah said this is the time for him to go, yeah, this is the time to let him go. We cannot change what had been written. Learn to accept.

I closed my eyes. Yeah, learn to accept.

30 minutes later. I'm there with my backpack were stuffed with medical stuff that I've stolen earlier from the hospital where I work. Then, I entered the building. And then, I saw him. Ya Allah! I cupped my mouth. Can't help but I am too shocked. There was a pool of blood and he was lying there on the floor between the cracked and pieces of woods, boards and glass fragment and everything that I can't figure out. I almost collapse but I tried my best to drag my trembling legs to his sleeping (I guess) form.

He is too young! My heart cried. At first, I don't really believe that he is a teenager and I thought he is 20 years old (just like me) or above. I remembered he said he was 17 or 18 before (I don't really remember).

He looked so pale, there were dirt smudges on his face and his lips was cut and dried maybe because of dehydrated.

"Kyu..." I called as I put my hand against his forehead. He's burning. Gently, I undid the buttons of his jacket and pulled out the layer, carefully avoid touching his injured shoulder. He gasped as I tried to remove the jacket, leaving him nothing on top.

"Tahan sikit. Ni mungkin sakit." I took out 2 compressors from my backpack and wet them one with my mineral water and another one with antiseptic. then I put the compressor ( the mineral water one) on his forehead.

"Tahan sikit Kyu..." I pressed another compressor into his wound and he yelled out in pain.

"Shit! Shit!" He gasped. I automatically raised my hand, avoid touching any part of his body. "Maaf!"

I pulled out a couple of tongue depressors and long and wide bandages and i prepared more compressors and gauzes with antiseptic.

So i put the tongue depressors in between his teeth to make sure he'll not bite his own tongue- it was so dangerous.

"Bismillah..." So i pushed the forcep in his wound. He'd scream and he yelled out of pain.

I go into deeper, searching the place where the bullet through. He became more wild so i had to press my leg to his hand to make sure his frame still.

"Yes, found it!" Pulled out the bullet with the forcep and i hurriedly pressed the gauze into his wound. He scream and cried.

I know it hurts
I know the pain.

But he'd felt it more. I cant tell. And he tried to shove the pain away.

....

I just dont know when and how long i've been sleeping but by the time i woke up, the next day

I found he just not there.

Faded away, gone.

Vanished into thin air.

And once again, we lost him.