Begin Again

Chapter 20

I stood at the door of my father's room just staring through the window at him. For once he looked helpless. His face was as white as the sheets on the bed he was on, his eyes had a large shadow cast over them, and his chest barely rose and fell. My mother sat next to him. She held onto his hand and brought it to her lips. I could see her say something then look towards the door.

A hand rested on my shoulder, "You don't have to go in there."

I looked back towards Harry and said "Yes i do."

Bella walked over next to me and held onto my hand. "Come on. I think we should go in now."

Taking a deep breath, I opened the door and stepped in with Bella. Harry and Zayn followed in behind. My dad looked over and stared at me. He weakly smiled "Hi, DJ." His voice sounded scratchy and it was barely above a whisper.

I didn't say anything. His smile faultered and he asked "Can I speak to you alone, DJ?"

Zayn rested his hand on my shoulder and whispered "Maybe that's not such a good--"

Before he finished, I nodded. "Sure." I looked back at Bella, Zayn, and Harry. Bella hugged me before leaving the room with Zayn.

Harry glanced between my father and me, "I'll be right outside." He glanced at my father again, "Just yell if you need anything."

i nodded and he reluctantly left the room. My mother left last. As she passed me, she grasped both of my shoulders and mouthed "Thank you."

Once the door closed my father began violetly coughing. I stayed where i was and just stared at him. He composed himself and asked "Can you please sit in the chair closer to the bed? It's easier for me to talk if i don't need to talk loudly."

Slowly, I made my way over to his bed and sat down. He didn't say anything, he just stared at me. Getting a little annoyed i asked "So? Why did you want me to come here?"

He sighed and reached his hand out towards me, "DJ, you grew up into such a beautiful young woman." I flinched away from his hand.

Again he errupted into a coughing fit. He continued, "DJ, I'm so sorry for everything. I've been a terrible father to you. I know it's not an excuse but the doctors said that the tumor destroyed the part of my brain that controls emotion. I swear i never meant to hurt you, DJ. You have to believe me." More coughing. "I know you probably won't ever forgive me, but i am so sorry. I never wanted to hurt you. I love you so much. You'll always be my little girl."

Tears started to form in my eyes. Suddenly there was a loud, constant beep coming from the machine that monitored his heart beat. His heart stopped beating.