Fate and coincidents (Joshaya)

Chapter 10

Maya pov

Riley stayed with me and Josh for a couple of days. She gave me strength but I couldn't tell her how crushing it was for me to hurt her. She tried to hide it but I know that this made her exhausted. That I made her exhausted. I should be the one to protect her, not the other way around.

Josh was being protective and it actually felt good. He and Riley were the only ones that I truly trusted. I had left the room once and it ended up with me sprinting back after just a couple of minutes. This room was my haven. My mom had tried to come and check on me but had left almost immediately, this was hard for her and I just didn't feel comfortable around her. It sucked and I tried to text her. Texting her was easier. It was just picking out a couple of letters. I don't even have to think that I send them to a person.

When Riley left it was kind of a relief. I felt horrible over feeling that way. It wasn't Riley that was the problem. It was just the feeling of not being able to protect her that broke me. I hadn't been able to protect myself, how could I protect my best friend?

I did my schoolwork from the dorm. Josh had gotten me a bed to sleep in and had made some space on his desk so that I could study. I love you. Those words kept coming back into my thoughts. I don't even remember if I dreamed them or if Josh truly had said it. Josh was in lessons now, he usually tried to get home to eat lunch and he just picked the lessons that were impossible to study from a distance. That way he could be home as much as possible. Riley and Josh didn't say it but I knew that they were afraid that I would run away again.

Josh pov

Maya had started living in my dorm. She wanted to study so that she could graduate and of course I made some space for her on my desk. I am thinking about getting some of her stuff from Katie so that she will feel at home. With Riley basically spending all her free time with us it made it almost impossible for me to talk with Maya. I wanted to tell her that I loved her. That I loved her with all my heart, but I couldn't, what if she wasn't ready to hear that? What if she ran away from me again?

I tried to help her as much as I could. She hasn't talked with anyone except for me and Riley yet but she has started to text her mother a little bit. I sometimes wake up in the middle of the night because of her nightmares. Riley is usually sleeping like a rock so I lay down with Maya. Hugs her until she is calm and leaves before she and Riley wakes up again. Nobody knows but I usually cry with her. It's heartbreaking for me to not protect her in her dreams.

It has been a month since the accident and I still can't stop thinking about it, how could I? She almost got raped, she was abused and she got stabbed and if I hadn't found her then she would have been dead. Maya Hart would have been dead.

When I came home that day Maya was studying as usually. She had a test coming up and her principal had given me and Riley the rights to watch her do it at home. She was beautiful when she studied. She was always beautiful. I just wanted to kiss her, to feel her lips against mine. But I needed to tell her that I loved her first, that she could trust me completely.

She looked up from her books as I put down my books on the desk. She smiled at me, it was a little and weak smile but it was a smile.

"How's your day been?" I asked before starting with the dinner, thankful that I got a room with a kitchen.

"It's been good, just some geometry you know." She said before putting her nose in the books again.

I continued with the dinner and we ate in silence but it wasn't awkward. It was nice. I started to do the dishes afterwards and as usual she helped me clean up the kitchen, deep in thoughts.

"What are you thinking of?" I asked her, putting down the dishes and rest against the counter.

"I don't know. I think it's a dream but it feels so real." She answered.

"It was from my coma, a story about sleeping beauty. And y-you said that you loved me." She said, standing in front of me, looking me in the eyes. She had heard. She had heard everything. I froze for a while.

Maya pov

I knew it. I made him uncomfortable because it was just a dream. It was just a stupid dream. Tears started to burn under my eyelids as I turned away from Josh and started to walk towards the door to get out of his apartment. Before I even had the chance he grabbed my wrist and pulled min into a hug.

"I love you." He said before closing the gap between our mouths with a kiss.