Home Again

Bakes

*I plan to use this beautiful man as a representation of T.J. in addition to Isaiah from the show cuz there's only like 3 pics of Isaiah out there lol 

~

"I can't find shit to eat in here." Junior exclaimed as he rummaged through the kitchen cabinets, Clover's kitchen cabinets. "Help me find something to eat, bakes," he said.

Clover stood with her arms folded and her back to the wall, watching him. She was far from feeling safe around him but she didn't like the idea of him being alone in her house.

"Bakes, I know you hear me." He had given her a nickname, which she utterly despised.

She averted her eyes in disgust. She didn't have the energy or the patience to argue the obvious fact that the nickname made no sense. She did not even bake; she cooked. There was an enormous difference.

"Alright then," he looked around the kitchen, silently tapping his finger. Finally, his eyes landed on something, a glass vase. It was small, and too ornate to match anything in the house. "What's this?" He picked up the ornament with a smirk and immediately got her attention.

"Put it back," she said, her eyes panicked and focused.

"What? Why? What is it?" He tossed it from hand to hand.

"Mr. Shelby-Jesus Chr-Put it down, now!" She said with shortness of breath. Internally her heart pounded and her lungs constricted.

"What's so special about it?" He twirled it in one hand and she rushed toward him, reaching for the item. He held it just out of her reach.

"Mr. Shelby, I'm not joking, give me the vase now!" She said, willing her voice to steady itself.

"Whoa there," he continued his game as she fought against him.

Clover's panic turned into anger as she shoved T.J. against the counter's edge. His back contorted in pain and the vase slipped from his hands. She reached for it but was too late.

The small vase was sprawled across on the floor, shattered like small crystal raindrops. In Clover's vision the shards seemed to move, to twirl like stars and snow across a landscape. In her vision the ground blurred with the ceiling and everything in between. "Shit." She breathed the curse with a shaky breath that seemed to reverberate across the room. Her face was hot with tears and stress. Clover stumbled from the kitchen into the outside air.

Once she almost looked back, to check the vase and asses the damage. Maybe she could paste it back together like a shredded letter. Maybe she could fix it. No. It was lost forever.

Her home seemed to her the scene of a murder and she walked steadily away from it. She had left her coat in the kitchen so she gathered her arms toward herself. Why did it always seem to be cold in London? No one had warned her.

Step after step she went on until she convinced herself to stop. She had to go back and face this. Clover had always been the mediator between her emotion and reason. No one had ever been there to do it for her.

It was past nightfall by the time the girl came back to her home. Junior looked out of the window and watched her approach the door.

Clover walked in and moved straight toward the kitchen. She immediately wiped her eyes and looked away from him. When she reached the kitchen, she stopped.

The floor was spotless. "You cleaned?" She asked, unable to take her eyes off of the floor.

"Yes. I'm sorry." He said.

For a quick moment she gave him her attention before returning it to the floor. "It was my mother's. The vase." Clover said.

He looked at her look at the floor. "I didn't know it meant that much to you. I didn't mean to drop it. I'm sorry."

"Of course you didn't." She sounded detached and far away. There was no weight to her words. Her eyes drifted from the floor and landed on something else, his right hand. It was bulkily wrapped in a cloth stained with a small red streak. "Are you bleeding?" She automatically took his hand and examined it. She looked him in the eye.

"It's nothing. I cut myself trying to be of some good. I fucking deserve it, don't worry." He brushed her off and left the room. She kept her eyes intent on his back as he walked out of the house and into the night.

She could see just outside the window; he was sitting on the step.

~

Clover watched the door. She wanted to keep herself still because she could feel something welling up within her. It was the urge to do something completely insane.

No, Clover. She told herself. He's out of your house. Let him stay there. T.J. had stepped outside hours ago. For all she knew, he could be miles away by now. It's not your problem. She told herself. Forget the cold. He's not your problem. He's done you enough harm. Clover turned her back to the door and tried to walk away.

But before she knew it she was facing the door again, wondering what was outside. Wondering what she had seen in his eyes the moment he pulled his injured hand away from her. Vulnerability? Repentance? She was closer to the door now. It would not hurt to look outside the window. Or to open the door a small way and peek. Just to see if he was...

There.

There he was. Sitting on her doorstep. Smoking and shivering.

"Jesus Christ," she found herself saying. The vagrant man twitched at the noise.

"He's not concerned about me love, not anymore at least." His lips seemed to be turning blue.

Before she knew it, Clover was speaking to him. "Why don't you come inside?" She said. "You've smoked enough out here. You might freeze your ass off." She bit her lip too late; the words had already spilled from her mouth. If given the chance would she take them back? She wasn't sure. But it seemed that she was presented with a second opportunity. T.J. had acted as if he had not heard her.

Her mouth was open again. "I can't let you sit out here this late. This is a bad neighborhood," came her excuse. "Just come inside." She felt utterly ridiculous but she said the words anyway.

There came a soft shivering chuckle. "You want me...to come inside?" Junior steadied his voice as best as he could. He was dangerously cold. He had heard her words before but honestly was not sure if she had really said them. Now he wondered whether or not he would accept her kindness. He wondered whether or not he wanted to be saved.

"And what if I do come in..."he began softly and slowly, "what will you make me, bakes?"

~

It's been a long while but you know the drill. I've been busy with blogging, senior year, and college apps!  Woohoo so excited to freakin graduate. Thanks for reading despite sparse updates. Let me know what you think of this chapter and the story so far. Don't forget to comment and vote!