Home Again

Who Are You

*Tommy does yell from time to time

~

In a fancifully decorated room in his father's home, Junior sat. He hadn't paid any specific attention to the room he was in or the amount of time it took to get there. He just sat and tried to think of nothing. Tried to feel nothing. He was managing it with deep breaths; he'd had a lot of practice.

"None of us choose our lot in this life...That's what they want you to believe. You see this place, this castle? Shelby Estate. I built it from pig shit. From nothing...to everything."

Junior kept his eyes fixated just past his standing father. He focused on a painting on the wall. It just so happened to be a painting of his father, standing tall. The likeness was inescapable. He glared and glared until he sunk himself into those feigned icy blue eyes.

"You don't trust me do you? I can tell you don't. But what I say is true. I've lived this life this long and have picked up a few things along the way. One thing I've learned, your enemies never stop coming for you. No matter how much you build. It never stops. But still, I shape my life."

Junior adjusted his gaze and beheld his real father, whose eyes were aglow and much more sinister than the painting.

"We shape our lot in life into whatever we want it to be. Don't you forget that. Stand up son." Junior stood, tall. "Here," Tommy stuck something cold into his son's hand.

The weight of the weapon fell lifelessly into Junior's palm. Junior could identify the make and model of the gun all while staring at the painted likeness of his father across the room.

"You're going to do something for me. Take it as a lesson," said Tommy. Junior was never one to infer his father's thoughts, yet this statement sent chills throughout his limbs. The gun grew heavier in his hand. Tommy spotted the surmounting incredulity in his son's eyes. He gripped Junior's shoulders. "Breathe, son. Breathe. Now, in a few seconds," Thomas Shelby pointed, "your uncle Arthur is going to come through that door." Tommy firmly grasped his son's face. His next words were as even as a single breath. "There will be a man with your uncle and you will put a bullet in his head."

Junior was held firmly in his father's sealed grip. He wanted to hyperventilate and his face must have shown it because his father shook him back to attention. "You will do this because you are a Shelby and you can."

"N-no, no please. I can't," were his first words of protest.

Tommy took one look at his son. Without turning away he said. "You can and you will." Then the door opened. Junior's eyes grew wider as his father's prophecy came true. There was his uncle. And there was a man. The man had been unwillingly dragged in by his forearms; his wrists were tightly secured around his back. There was a gag in his mouth and his face seemed much redder than normal. Junior could make out blood stains all over his apparel.

"Dad, I can't-"

"You train the gun on your target," said Tommy, miming his own command, "and shoot," he pulled the invisible trigger.

"I'm... I can't,"

"Go ahead son. Be a Shelby."

"I...I..." air began evading his lungs. Junior couldn't breath. His vision blurred.

Tommy was suddenly before him, wrenching his lapel, "Get your fucking self together and pull the goddamn trigger," Tommy said.

"I won't fucking do this!" Junior screamed. "Here, take this, take this back!" He fumbled to release the gun and hand it to his father. Thomas snatched it from his son and placed the gun's barrel in the space between Junior's neck and chin. Junior froze. All was quiet; even the bound man's muffled pleas ceased.

"Are you listening now, son? Is this what it takes for you to listen?"

Junior moved his eyes slowly from the gun to his apparently psychopathic father.

"D-dad."

"You don't even know who you are. Do you?" Tommy dropped the gun to the floor. "That's weak, Junior. I didn't raise you that way."

Junior's trance broke. "Raise me? You didn't fucking raise me at all. Where were you? When I needed you? When Sophia died? Huh? Where?"

"I never left you. And having a fit over when you think I ever did won't change the past. You don't know who the fuck you are and so you ran away." He turned to face the hostage. "You ran away and let fucking strangers," he said, kicking the hostage completely onto the floor, "tell you who you are."

"You're fucking mad. I'm not listening to you-"

"What would he have to do for you to kill him?" Tommy pointed to the hostage. "Call you a bad name? Pikey? What if I told you he killed your sister,"

"Shut the fuck up! Don't go there. You know-," Junior was interrupted by a gunshot and a scream. Tommy had shot the hostage in the leg.

"I can go anywhere I want. I can do anything I want because I am Thomas Shelby!" The hostage writhed in pain on the ground. Tommy breathed deeply. "You teach people how to treat you," he calmly continued. "You make your lot in life. You make something out of nothing. But first, you need to know who you are."

Junior could only stare at his father.

"Would you let this man call you a pikey? Is that who you are? How about a mulatto?" Junior shot a wounded look at Tommy. "A coward, for not protecting your sister?"

"That's enough!"

"I say when it's enough! Are you a pikey? Are you a mulatto? Are you a coward?"

"NO!" Junior shouted. He was sweating and shaking all over. His eyes were unfocused and bloodshot. His pressure points had been hit.

"Then fucking do something about it! Unless you are what they think you are!" He was now yelling directly into his son's ear. Junior's fists were clenching. "A fucking coward! A bastard mulatto! A useless pikey!"

"NO the fuck I'm not!" Junior screamed.

"Then prove it. Who the fuck are you!?"

"I'm a fucking, Shelby, goddamit!"

Junior blacked out. 

When he could see again his heart was beating in his ears and everything was blurry. His cheeks burned and his head was pounding. He looked down at his shaking hands and saw a gun in one of them. His finger was on the trigger. He looked up to see a dead man on the ground.

Junior could faintly hear the words, "Good job, son." After that, everyone walked or was dragged from the room and Junior was left alone. 

~

Phew, oh lordy. When will Clover be back? Junior is slipping hella fast

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Thanks for readingg.