Gakuen no Otaku

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by PieceReviewer

by PieceReviewer

Link of the story: http://www.wattpad.com/story/9518751-gakuen-no-otaku-ongoing [available external link]

Author: http://www.wattpad.com/user/MarsheeLee

Brief Summary: Minsan ba hinagad mong maging isang anime character? What if i-grant ni Kami-sama ang wish mo? At may bonus pa?

Author's description of her story: Fun, Enjoyable, Exciting

Reviews:

Bad news before good news huh, 'coz I love happy endings...

May mga maling spelling. Hindi naka capitalize ang first letter ng sentence. Medyo exaggerated ang mga conversations.

Construction of sentences and paragraphs are blurry. Medyo hindi siya pasok sa tinatawag na ‘story format.’ Avoid using unnecessary symbols like @ **** ---, like just what I’ve said, mas magandang basahin kung naka formal book format siya.

At least try to create two or more interesting events on your chapters. Do not focused on a single event. Tulad na lang ng pagpapakilala ng sarili, dapat may konting side background na naganap in the middle of introducing themselves. Baka ma-bored ang mga readers mo kung single event lang. Ito ba yung type na may mga nag enrol para maging part ng story? Well for those enrolees, I guess what I stated above won’t apply. Pero kung sa katulad ko na hindi naman naka enrol, at walang ka-idea idea, baka mawalan ako ng interest kapag nagpatuloy yan. That’s why I suggest, gawin mo na mag eenjoy ang lahat ng makakabasa.

Subukan mo rin mas dagdagan ang mga descriptions ng iyong surroundings rather than conversations. Mas ma-appeal kasi at interesting kapag ganun. That way, you can let your readers imagine many things. A story full of conversation with few description is like listening to a radio. You can only here sounds, but you cannot see any image, and more people prefer television than radio because there are images. Hope you get the logic behind this.

I think sa sobrang dami ng mainstream characters eh nahihirapan ka na sa flow ng story. Avoid too much mainstream characters as much as possible.

I don’t consider emoticons to be a disadvantage. Instead on tagalog stories like these, they are advantages for me. Para sa akin kasi ‘art’ ang dating nila. They also add up some kind of image on your story. Ang cute ng emoticons mo. San mo yun nakuha? Hehe.

The flow of story is lively. Feeling ko kasi palaging energetic ang mga characters eh.

Characters maintained their own personalities. Isa sa pinaka mahirap na job ng isang writer ay ang panatilihin ang mga personality ng kanilang characters. Kadalasan kasi, sobrang nadadala tayo sa flow ng story na nakakalimutan na natin ang mga personalities nila. So far in your story, hindi ito nangyari. Good job for that. Wala kasing monotonous characters.

Idea was interesting. You can go to the anime world and got to interact with anime characters? Uwaaa, that’s a dream of every Otaku. For sure, makakarelate kami dito. Syempre nakarelate din ako. Yun nga lang I think it just lack some interesting unique events sa bawat chapters. Isip ka ng something na bago. Kunwari, namatay ang main character or may napatay sila na anime character. Something like that. Pero wag naman ganun ka-tragic. hehe

Overall, kung reader type ako eh i-aadd ko na ito sa aking RL. You’re story is good. Finish it, and I hope that what I suggests above can be applied and it will probably help your story to improve.

All I can say is that, you’re a writer who can give an energetic life to her characters. That’s a compliment :D

~ Hihyo_Sejuru

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