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The Otaku Fell in Love

Link of the story: http://www.wattpad.com/story/7892667-the-otaku-fell-in-love [External link available]

Author: http://www.wattpad.com/user/Fujoshi_Freak

Brief Summary: Just when an Otaku's life coudn't get any better. She suddenly falls in love with a real person. However this guy is the complete opposite of her. Will this otaku girl gain true love from this guy for who she really is? 

Author's Description of her Story: Romantic, Crazy, Fun-to-read

Reviews: 

I believe that it is better to start first with the bad news before the good news. So bear with me, this will help you improve. Hope so.

There were grammatical errors. It is noticable and obvious especially for people who always read english contexts. But I know, it is inevitable. Even I, and most of us here, commit such mistakes. Though this doesn't mean that you will let this mistake pass. Better if you proofread your works to alter some errors. Or consult some people to help you. 

Avoid too much questions in your prologue. It is better if you deliver most of your statements into a declarative sentence. Why? That way, it is more informative than argumentative since the main goal of a prologue is not to bury questions on reader's mind, but to inform what is to be expected. One or two questions is already suffice to keep your readers from reading.

Avoid repeating words consecutively. They lessen the appeal of your context. Use other synonyms or consult a thesaurus, either walking or not (hope you get what I mean). For nouns, you can use pronouns to change the word but still be able to deliver the original meaning.

 I think reactions of characters are a bit exaggerated. Make your conversations realistic since this a kind of a story about how an otaku copes with reality. 

Now let us go to the warm part of this review,

The term ‘Otaku’ has been depicted well. It made me say, Yeah right, I’m like this too, and very good job for that. Many readers are engrossed nowadays with stories wherein they can fantasize and relate.

Let me tell you that you have a potential to become a writer. You know how to conceptualize well-constructed sentences and flow of lines. As I read the story, a smile suddenly came out of my face which signifies that you're able to dragged me into your plot. 

I like writers who know what to do, and how to do what they are planning to do. Did you get what I mean? You're one of them. You have the ability to construct a well organized, attractive flow of events which leads me to finished up to the latest chapter of your story. 

Overall, it is not a bad story after all. Although the plot is kind of cliche, the events shown are not. Keep it up. Finished it until the end. Learn from mistakes. Study what you lack. Improve what you got, and I'm telling you, in the future, you'll get many readers.

Hope this will help :)

I am Hihyo_Sejuru, at your service. You can still ask for more reviews for your other stories. Good job Fujoshi Freak!

- Hihyo_Sejuru