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Journey to the Anime World: The Epic World of Code Geass

Title of the Story:  Journey to the Anime World: The Epic World of Code Geass

Link of the Story: http://www.wattpad.com/story/7166824-journey-to-the-anime-world-the-epic-world-of-code [external link available]

Profile link of the author: http://www.wattpad.com/user/CielPhantomhive02

Brief Summary: Abegail, a crazy anime fan especially in Code Geass. She really wants to be in the anime and meet the characters personally. She will meet a strange person that will take her to the world of Code Geass. But this amazing experience of her life has one mission to complete in order for her to stay there forever.

Reviews: 

Whoa! The title is epic, and the story itself is epic too! Thanks for choosing me as your hihyo! :)

I'll go first with the whole plot. It is obviously a cliche story, but you have interesting scenes to make it up so it's alright. You can make your readers feel the emotions of the characters from the beginning of her journey and I commend you for that. 

However, the start of the story is too fast-paced. I mean, it all happened already even without knowing who the protaganist is, what's her personality, and so on. Yes, you've given the introductions but for me, it's too shallow. You can give more details about her that will let the readers know what kind of person she is. You should have also come up with a more creative way of introducing the main character, rather than the usual "Hi, I'm blah blah blah." Just think outside the box, I know you can do it.

As I was saying, everything happened in a bliss. I think, it's unrealistic that Suzaku let her stay in his home even without scrutinizing her first, considering that she might be an enemy of his. Considering Suzaku's personality, I think there should've been scenes like that before the "you can stay here" part. :)

In terms of grammar, there are a few noticeable errors but it's easy to correct them. Well, it's just normal so it's okay. On the other note though, there are too many emoticons that it is a bit distracting. Oh well, if it your style of writing then it's alright. Nevermind that. :D

As a whole, you have an interesting idea so keep it up! I suggest that you could write chapters with some action scenes and not just those romantic ones so it'll be realistic that she is in the Code Geass world, where there is a rebellion. Other than that, I liked the story so please continue writing. 

Good luck! I hope I can be of any help to you. 

Sincerely,

Hihyo_chickenj0yZ

P.S. I love Code Geass too! I'll be an avid reader so ganbatte! :)