I'm sorry i love you | k.jd

i

I lightly hit my best friend, Kim Jongdae, on the shoulder. "Hey!" I yell, feigning anger. "Give it back!"

Jongdae sticks his tongue out. "Not until I erase that picture of me you took yesterday." He says. He clicks on the screen of my phone for a few seconds.

"Kim! Jong! Dae! Give it back!" I whine, aware that I sound like an annoying six year old. But I don't care, right now all I can think of is that currently, Jongdae has my precious phone and is scrolling through it. Pretty soon he's going to find fanfictions and pictures of my favorite pop group, BigBang.

Sure enough, he does. "What is this? Why do you have pictures of these guys on your phone?" He asks, scrunching up his nose in disgust.

"They're very hot guys," I defend myself, folding my arms.

Jongdae rolls his eyes, disapprovingly. "Hot more like disgrace to the entire male population." He snorts.

I adjust my position on the deck, and roll my eyes as well. "How would you know? You're not a guy." I insult him.

For a fleeting second, I think I see Jongdae's playful smile fade, but then the second is over and it quickly resets itself into a smirk once more. I shake myself—I must've imagined it.

"Then what am I to you?" Jongdae inquires, his face mischievous, but his voice has a slight serious tone wedged into it.

Slightly taken back by his upfront question, I remain silent for a few seconds. "A girl." I answer, teasing him.

His smirk no longer remains, but is replaced with a mocking frown. "Then you're a guy." He shoots at me, clearly dissatisfied.

"Manlier than you are for sure." I retort.

Jongdae pouts, jutting out his bottom lip. "Fine." Then he turns around, crossing his arms in annoyance.

After a few minutes, Jongdae still won't budge, so I lightly nudge him in the ribs. "Jongdae," I hiss.

He doesn't answer, just continues with his pouting. In surprise, I raise my eyebrows. Jongdae usually isn't this stubborn, it's mostly me who does all the pouting.

Suddenly an idea strikes me, and I grin evilly. "Jongdae..." I say, airily. When he doesn't respond again, I simper even wider. "I guess that this leaves me no choice but to..." My voice trails off as I leave suspense for my next move. I poke him in the side. "Poke Wars II!" I yell, remembering our last one, which was several years ago, when we were still in high school.

Jongdae jumps in surprise and delight. "It is on!" He pumps, and pokes me in the elbow.

I poke him back in the knee, and he does the same. For a few minutes, we continue poking—and added tickling—each other, until we both finally give up due to an unending fit of giggles. Grabbing my stomach to cease my laughter, I take a big breath of air.

"It's been awhile since we've done something like that," Jongdae announces, echoing my thoughts.

"Mhm." I hum, agreeing. Then I stare up at the sparkling stars in the night sky, and breathe out a big puff of icy air. "The stars just seem to go on forever, don't they?" I say aloud, and immediately blush when I realize how dorky that must sound.

Jongdae doesn't seem to care about how dorky my comment sounds, and just nods, staring thoughtfully at the sky as well. "You'll stay with me forever, right?" He says suddenly, catching me off guard.

Then I start to wonder if he's asking this because of his mom. Jongdae's honestly a bit clingy, and always does stuff like this—questioning our friendship and whether or not I'll continue being his friend. Even though I'm used to these type of questions, it's been awhile since he's asked me something like this, and I'm fairly shocked.

However, it's not his fault that he's like this. When he was really young, like around ten or eleven, his mom left him and his family. He usually acts like he doesn't care, but as I've said before, I see through him, and I can tell that his mom's abandonment really did leave a huge impact on him and his childhood.

I usually forget that such a horrible event ever actually occurred in Jongdae's life, and when I do remember, I start to feel really bad for him. However, Jongdae hates pity, and whenever I get that misty eyed, saddened expression on my face, he stops me.

I must have that same look on my face right now, because Jongdae gives me a look.

"Seo Hye, please don't." He begs me, noticing my facial expression. "I'd much rather be hated than pitied." He adds quietly.

I force a smile, and just decide to answer his question. "Yes, I will forever stay with you." I reply, and I feel my heart swell when he beams. "I promise you." I vow.

"So... Who won the Poke Wars II?" Jongdae inquires, grinning. This is one of the things I love about Jongdae, how he can easily transition from a deep and serious moment to a lighthearted and playful one.

I shrug. "I'm not sure," I answer, and sneak a poke on his arm. "Me!" I shriek.

Jongdae frowns. "Hey, that's not fair!" He pouts.

"Is too!"

"Nuh uh!"

"Nuh huh!"