I'm sorry i love you | k.jd

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"Jongdae," I say his name weakly. Jongdae continues eating his breakfast. I take a deep breath, preparing myself for the words that are about to come out of my mouth. "Do you like me?"

Jongdae, being human and alive, and not being able to hear me, does not answer, but just puts his finished bowl of soup away, and grabs his keys.

For what seems like the literal thousandth time, I sigh, deeply disappointed. I know that he can't hear me, and that it's not his fault in any way, but it still for some reason hurts that he never answers me. It just makes me feel nonexistent and dead. Which I am. I no longer exist, and I'm dead.

I don't count anymore, I am merely the ghost of a once living human whose name was Seo Hye.

"Seo Hye," I say my name, my voice sounding bitter and harsh. "You don't count anymore. You're dead, so stop trying to trick yourself into thinking otherwise."

...

When I arrive at the building that Jongdae works at, I head straight to his office. He's not there, so I start looking around, and finally spot him and Bomi alone in an empty hallway. I see Jongdae push his black glasses up the bridge of his nose, and Bomi stare at the ground, awkwardly.

I'm about to walk towards them, about to shout, 'Hey guys, fabulous is here!' when suddenly, Bomi steps forward, and wraps her arms around Jongdae's torso.

"Please, let me have this." She speaks, her cheek leaning against his chest.

My mouth goes dry, and when I open it, nothing comes out. Slowly, I stagger away, away from them, from all of this. I need to get away. That thought is the only thing that's on my mind right now. Suddenly, I stop in the middle of another hallway, right outside of an office, and I fall flat onto my knees.

Why, why am I so affected? I wonder. Why do I care? This has nothing to do with me. But it does. It has everything to do with me. What I just saw, that tiny little scene, it's affecting me like crazy. My throat's dry, and my mind's blank. My heart's burning, and my head feels like it's going to burst from the memory that's now replaying itself over and over again.

I put a hand over my eyes, trying to stop seeing Bomi hugging Jongdae. Why do you care? I think. Because you love him, I realize. I close my eyes, feeling a swirling mix of emotions bounce all around me. The biggest emotions are regret and sorrow.

I close my eyes, and bite my lip. "I'm sorry Jongdae, I'm sorry that I found out so late."

...

After work, Jongdae takes his usual route home. As he walks into the building, I drag myself to him.

"Did you..." my voice falters. "Are you and..." I can't finish my sentence. All attempts at finding out if Bomi and Jongdae are a couple fail. I give up, and kick a rock. My foot goes through, and the rock does not move, reminding me that I'm dead. I sigh, and look away.

"You're just a ghost, Seo Hye. Just. A. Ghost." The sooner I accept that, the better.

...

Jongdae finishes eating his noodles, and gently drops his bowl in the sink. He heads to his bathroom, and I sigh.

"Jongdae, stop!" I cry out, miserably. "Stop it!" I scream.

Jongdae doesn't stop. He continues to empty his stomach, and I sigh sadly.

It's so unfair. I think, feeling annoyed and frustrated. I sit down next to Jongdae. "Jongdae, please stop." I beg him.

Jongdae keeps on throwing up, and I scratch my hair frustratedly. "Augh!" I screech.

Angrily, I storm out of his bathroom, and throw myself onto the ground.

Suddenly Jongdae staggers out of the bathroom, and his knees fail him, as he sinks to the ground. Anger diminished, and guilt settling in my heart, I walk over to Jongdae, and sit down next to him. He is very still, and isn't moving in the least.

I lean towards him. "Hey, are you okay?" I question, guilt stabbing me.

Jongdae doesn't answer, and his hands drop from his eyes down to his lap. When I look at him, his eyes are dull and blank. As he closes his eyes, his chest heaves up and down. However his voice doesn't match his calm appearance.

"Seo Hye, I-I'm so sorry, I- I can't move on." Jongdae cries. "I still love you, and y-you'll never love me back. Y-you're... You're..." Jongdae's voice falters, not being able to finish the sentence.

I reach towards Jongdae, to give him a hug. To assure him that it's okay, that it's my fault, not his. But my arms go through him, and I fall through onto the hard wooden ground. I stare at my cold, pale hands, in disgust and a little horror. "I'm... I really am dead."

A/N: i'm sorry that I didn't update for so long, but i hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, y'all waited long enough for it :)