I'm sorry i love you | k.jd

v

"Jongdae, get up or you'll be late for work." I say. It's seven twenty, and if Jongdae doesn't wake up soon then he's going to be late. "Kim! Jong! Dae!" I yell. "Wake up!"

Jongdae groans. "One more minute." He murmurs, shocking me.

Did he just respond to me? I wonder. But that's not possible. "Jongdae!" I shout.

Jongdae unwillingly gets up, and rubs his eyes open. "Fine, oh fine, Seo Hye. You win, I'll get..." Then his voice trails off as if just remembering something.

I hold my breath. Please oh please Jongdae. Hear me.

Jongdae stares at his phone which is on his drawer, then into his empty hands. "She didn't call me," he mutters. "Which means that that was a dream. And that she's still..." his voice falters, and my tensed shoulders droop to what he was trying to say.

Dead.

Then why would Jongdae think that I called him? I wonder, then I sigh, realizing the reason why. It was probably habitually, since I used to call him every morning on his phone to wake him up. I notice that Jongdae is wearing the same clothes as yesterday. And Jongdae gets off his bed, then walks into his closet. I follow him, then immediately exit after realizing that he's going to get dressed.

Even though I'm dead, I still don't want to watch my best friend of the opposite gender get changed.

...

"Jongdae," I call out his name.

Jongdae holds onto the handle at the top of the ceiling of the subway that we're riding in.

"Do you like subways?" I ask. "I really don't, they're too loud and there's too much people." I voice my opinion. "But then again," I shrug. "The more people there are, the more alive I feel."

Or, at least that's how I used to feel, when I wasn't dead. "What about you, Jongdae?"

Jongdae continues to stare at the screen of his phone, waiting for his stop to come.

I sigh. It sure is hard trying to hold a one sided conversation.

...

"Jongdae!" Hisses one of Jongdae's close friends and coworkers, Kim Minseok.

Jongdae looks up from typing on his laptop, and peels his ultra focused gaze away from the screen. "Yeah?"

"Are you okay?" Minseok inquires, looking worried.

Jongdae nods vigorously. "Yeah, I'm absolutely fine." He replies, continuing his work.

Minseok looks unconvinced, but doesn't push further, making me wonder just how many people know about my death.

...

Eleven pm is when Jongdae finally decides to go home. This is weird, why is Jongdae going home just now? He usually never stays at his office past nine thirty at the latest. I scratch my chin, wondering about his reason for staying so late.

On his way home, he breathes out a big breath of air. His breath looks like an ice dragon just fired out ice from their mouth. Then he coughs.

I frown. "Jongdae! You must've gotten a cold, you should take care of yourself better."

As usual, Jongdae doesn't answer.

...

Jongdae enters his apartment room, and closes the door, right before I can enter. I stick my tongue out. "Rude." Then I shrug. Oh well. I just float right through the door, and into his apartment. I hear water running, and realize that Jongdae must be taking a shower.

"I guess I'll just make myself at home." I say, and throw myself onto Jongdae's couch, only to fall right through it, and onto the hard ground. I frown. Being a ghost sure is frustrating.

Now I realize the water has stopped, so I walk right into Jongdae's room. He comes out of his closet, and I find myself gulp at the image. He's wearing sweatpants and a loose t-shirt. He's rubbing his damp blond hair with a towel.

Jongdae goes straight to his bed, and I follow him. Of course I can't actually lie on the bed next to him—I'm lying down on the ground—but at least I can see him. I watch Jongdae as he falls asleep, and even though I don't need it, I close my eyes and fall asleep too.