I'm sorry i love you | k.jd

iv

The next day, "Ugh, everything is so boring." I complain. Now that I'm dead, I can't do anything that involves physical requirement. I can't talk to humans, read a book, turn on a movie, open a door, simple tasks like that. I also don't require any sleep or food, and I can't feel physical pain. I can walk through people, furniture, buildings, and such.

Bark! Bark! Bark! I hear, and I turn around to see a medium sized dog with white fur barking at me. Interest sparked, I walk closer to the dog. It starts barking even louder and more crazily.

"Stop, stop it, Sangchu!" The owner scolds his dog. I reach out my hand towards the dog, just to see what will happen. It starts barking like crazy, and his owner continues yelling at him. "Sangchu, stop!"

"Can you see me?" I ask the dog, even though I know that it won't answer.

The dog jumps at me, and automatically, I jump away, thinking that it'll bite me. But then I remember that I'm a ghost and the dog can't hurt me.

I walk away, frowning disappointedly. "What should I do?" I wonder aloud. I never really used to say any of my thoughts aloud, but now it doesn't matter, because no person alive can hear or see me.

"I wish I could talk to Jongdae." I say aloud, then I perk up. "Hey, I'll go find Jongdae!"

I decide to go to the hospital, where I last saw Jongdae.

...

I spot Jongdae walking in the hallway, and follow him into a different building. He's wearing a black suit.

I hop over next to him. "Hey, Jongdae!" I chirp. "Where're you going?" I inquire.

He makes a swift turn to the right, and enters a room which is full of people. I look around. I see my boss, coworkers, friends, and even my parents, all dressed in black—similar to how Jongdae's dressed. I realize that it's a funeral, and walk over to Jongdae again.

"Who's funeral is this?" I ask Jongdae. I jump up and down. "Who? Who? Who?"

Jongdae goes to the front of the room, and when I turn around, my shoulders sink. I see a table with flowers on it, and in the middle, there's a frame with a picture of me smiling on it. An uneasy feeling twists in my stomach, and I look away. I'm literally watching my own funeral right now. I watch my parents walk over to Jongdae, and I notice that their eyes look red and puffy.

Jongdae bows. "I'm so sorry." He apologizes.

My parents bow as well. "I'm sorry as well; she was your best friend." My mom says, and I feel a stab of guilt.

I so desperately wish to run up to my parents, to embrace them. It's been awhile since I've hugged, talked, or even seen them. Despite knowing that they won't hear me, I can't help but call out my parents' names. "Mom! Dad!" I know that no matter how loud I shout, they'll never hear me.

But deep down, some part of me still holds onto the tiny slit of a chance that maybe they might turn around and notice me. "I'm sorry, I love you!" I scream on the top of my lungs, and to no one's surprise, they don't turn around.

...

After a while, people start leaving. My boss, my coworkers, and all my friends leave. Only my parents and Jongdae are left, and soon after, my parents leave too. Now Jongdae is the only living breathing thing in this entire room, and I sit down next to him against the wall.

His skin is unusually pale, he has dark circles under his eyes, and he looks—well—dead. I scoot closer to him, and I again feel a pang of guilt. What made him lose sleep? I wonder. I turn to face Jongdae. "Jongdae, why do you look so tired? It's not because of me, is it?" I question, hoping that I'm not the reason for his fatigue. Jongdae closes his eyes, and takes a big breath.

Then he breathes out again. "Jongdae," I cry out his name. "You look so tired, you have to get more sleep."

Jongdae's head bobs to the side, and I try to catch it on my shoulder, but his head just bobs right through my body. I sigh annoyedly. Jongdae's phone falls out of his pocket, and I crane my head to take a look at it. It's already nine pm.

"You should go home now, it's late." I advise Jongdae, but of course he doesn't react. I mess up my hair in frustration, and close my eyes, mirroring Jongdae's actions. "Oh, Jongdae, what should I do?" I wonder aloud.