Half Cowboy, Half City Girl

Chocolate Pickles and Killing Friends

Maya

I'm officially a month into this hell many people call pregnancy and besides the puking every morning, being tired as hell, and moody as fuck, it hasn't been all that bad.

You can't even tell that I'm pregnant honestly so that's good but even though I can't lie and say it's not somewhat exciting, I'm terrified about being a mom, so terrified.

Which is why I'm at the Matthews with Riley and Mrs. Matthews, learning about being pregnant and all that shit, it's pretty boring.

I'm literally just laying on Riley's lap, playing with the hem of her shirt.

I mean, who the hell needs to know about pregnancy, I know all about it. You get fat and then you push a child out of your pussy and then you get no sleep for the rest of your goddamn life and you're screwed.

But apparently there's other stuff. "You'll probably get start developing a baby bump soon too, Maya. Next month, you might look pregnant."

"When will the stupid bump or whatever go away?" I ask, placing my hands in my stomach that I'm lucky is still flat

"After you give birth," Mrs. Matthews answers my question, "And you're so young, you probably won't even have to do much to get your slim body back."

"My ass better not get all saggy or I'll be pissed," I state, "Know how many squats I had to do in high school? Like three a night and that's too much."

Riley's eyes widen at that. "Only three a night and your ass is bigger than Hawaii? I did like fifty-million a night and I'm flat! What the hell?"

I reach up and caress her smooth cheek, laughing a little. "Do we really need to do this lesson again? Riles, there's different body types and — "

"You two get so off topic. Lets focus now, ok? Ok." Mrs. Matthews cuts me off, "Maya, by six months you might feel the baby kick."

My eyes widen just like Riley's did. "Kick? The hell is this thing doin' in me?"

"This thing is your child and your child is growing inside of you." Mrs. Matthews, takes a seat next to her daughter

"Yes, I know that. I took the damn health class," I roll my eyes, "But why is it going to be kicking me?"

"The little cowboy or the little city girl in you is learning to use their muscles and how to move around in you," Riley moves a strand of hair out of my face

"What the fuck? I don't want that!" Tears start streaming down from eyes as I begin squirm around on Riley's lap, "I don't want to be pregnant! Get it out of me!"

"Auggie, she's doing it again!" Mrs. Matthews calls for her eleven-year-old son, Auggie and he comes running out, "Come control her!"

He appears on the other end of the couch, looking down at me. "Pull yourself together, women! Stay strong!"

I sit up, grabbing his shirt and pulling him nose to nose while growling at him. "Shut the fucking hell up, you little bitch! You don't know what it's like to have another human growing inside of you!"

"You, my friend, are a mess," Auggie kisses my forehead, "Get help."

•••

"And then I started freaking out," I explain to Zay as we sit together in his apartment, watching whatever is on the TV, "I really don't know what's wrong with me."

Zay shakes his head, shoving popcorn in his mouth. "There is nothing wrong with you at all. You're scared pregnant women. It's normal."

I frown in disgust at the popcorn and stand up, making my way toward his kitchen, "I need like pickles or something, ya got any of those?"

"Pickles? The fuck you want pickles for — oh right, you're pregnant," Zay stands up and heads toward me, "I don't have any pickles, I'm sorry."

"What about anything chocolate," I open his fridge, "Holy shit! Chocolate pickles! Text Lucas and tell him to bring over chocolate pickles!"

"Oh my god," Zay grimaces and gags in disgust, "I honestly am never getting anyone pregnant because that's disgusting, what you want, disgusting."

"This isn't my fucking choice!" I yell at him with a mean frown, "Shut the hell up!"

He raises his hands in surrender. "I'm sorry, Maya. Why don't you go sit down and put on whatever you wish to watch and I'll text Lucas, ok?"

I cross my arms over my chest, nodding my head while starting back toward the couch and sitting in my spot. "Thank you, my zaybae."

•••

"I can't even watch this," Farkle, who just decided to show up at Zay's along with Lucas and is now being a bitch, gags, "I never, ever thought I would witness anyone eat a pickle dipped in chocolate sauce, oh my god."

"And I never, ever thought I would kill one of my best friends but it's becoming more a of possibility now, huh, Farkle." I glare at him

Lucas continues to rub my shoulders from behind the couch. "Just leave her alone, guys, she might actually kill you."

Something just snaps in me and tears well up in my eyes, streaming down my cheeks. "I would never kill anyone, I was just joking."

Each of the guys eyes widen at me and they just sit still as I put my chocolate pickle down and begin to cry into my hands.

I feel Farkle's hand on my back. "Hey, um, don't cry, please. I know you wouldn't kill me, don't worry. So, um, uh, stop crying now."

"Maya, don't cry, we know you're super sweet and would never hurt us," Zay comforts me too but I just continue crying, "Lucas, help us!"

I'm suddenly picked up bridal style by my husband, prompting me to nuzzle into his chest and calm myself down. "See, you just gotta treat her like a little adorable baby."

"Well, I'm not good with babies," Farkle says, almost in a sigh, "So, I'm of no use."

"Dude, you're just scared of babies," Zay laughs, "And I don't know why because they are absolutely adorable and the cutest little things in the entire world."

A smile grows from the corner of my lips as I close my eyes, imagining what this half cowboy, half city girl baby inside me will look like.

•••

After hanging with the guys for a bit, Lucas and I decided to head home and now that's where we are, sitting on the couch together, talking.

I'm straddling his lap and staring right into his striking sea-foam green eyes that I hope our kid will have. "Mrs. Matthews said I might have a bump in a few weeks."

"Yeah?" A cute little grin forms on his face, "Are you excited?"

I place my hands on my stomach. "Hell no. I don't want to get fat."

"You'll still look so gorgeous," Lucas has excitement written all over his face, "Now, come on, let's go have a bath and then watch as many movies as you want in bed."

That instantly sounded like the greatest idea ever and my headache and tiredness definitely agreed to the relaxing plan so that's exactly what we did all night.