Farkle
It's ok to be afraid but you can't let your fear of having a baby beat how happy you are to be having a baby.
My exact words of advice to Maya that I can't even live by. That makes me hypocrite. I'm a hypocrite and I admit it.
How could I have said that to her when I can't even take my own advice? I shouldn't have done that. I feel like a hypocrite and that's exactly what I am. Even if I'm the only one who understands.
I'm letting the fear of becoming a father beat how happy I am to eventually become a father.
And I try so hard to be happy that Riley wants a family with me but I can't.
Just imagine what it feels like for me.
Ever since I could talk, I've wanted to learn and by the age of three I was declared a genius. School was easiest thing in world. Straight A's in every subject, except for gym of course, without even trying.
I literally know everything. I'm Farkle. Everyone knows Farkle knows everything. Some people get scared of learning new things but when you can master pretty much anything school and other geniuses throw at you, you don't fear that.
But I've never been good at life. Life is the only thing that confuses me. Well, life and feelings.
So just imagine how it feels to know that if I become a father, I created life that I now have to take care of and love.
It's the one challenge that I'm scared to accept because it's the one thing I don't know.
Snapping me out of my thoughts is Zay's voice, "Hey, what are you doing up?"
"Thinking." Is my response, not even turning my head around to look at him coming down the stairs
"Do you ever stop thinking?" Zay asks and I can't tell if he's being serious or not, "Like really, are you always just like calculated things in your mind?"
"Most of time," I answer him, "But this is a different kind of thinking."
He catches on town at I'm thinking about. "This about the Riley and you fucking all the time so she can get pregnant thing?"
I nod my head for a response and don't say nothing else.
"Well, you wanna know my thoughts?" Zay asks me
"You think?" I playfully question, "I'm shocked."
"Haha, very funny," Zay rolls his eyes, "Seriously though, dude, I think it might help you."
I just shrug my shoulders, knowing any little thing might help me. "Give it your best shot."
"Close your eyes," he says and I obey, "When Riley walked down the isle in her wedding dress, remember what you were thinking."
"I was thinking how beautiful she looks and how far we've come since we were little kids and I saved her life." I speak out loud
"Go on." Zay tells me
"I was thinking that I'm gonna love her forever and make sure I'll do anything that I possibly can to make her smile that beautiful smile."
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Half Cowboy, Half City Girl
FanfictionThe playful yet passionate and loving couple, Maya and Lucas are already married and living together at the young ages of twenty and twenty-one. They've been married for a full year already and it was the best year they've spent together by far. Bu...
