Painful Thoughts And Memories

Regret

The soul crushing pain of regret, it gets me everyday, I wake up and I don't know what I did or why I did it but I always wish I didn't. I know wishing I didn't doesn't change anything and I know it won't make me feel any better but I can't stop myself from doing it. Why me? Why can't I be happy? Don't I deserve something for all that I've been through in this life time? I wish I knew what do, but I can't figure it out and I know no one can help me they will try but it will fail so I don't see a point in trying. I feel like I'm going insane, the voices get louder and louder everyday and it gets harder and harder too stop the tears from flowing. What is this life? Is this really all there is? If that's the case I dont really think I want to live it, I know I can't run away from it and I know I can't take the easy way out but sometimes its just hard to want to stay in the same place. I feel stuck and unmotivated, I don't see a point in trying anymore everything always ends badly with me in tears trying to hold myself together alone. Why do I have to live with this regret? Do you know?